Sunday, July 31, 2005


Was asked this intriguing question by an equally intriguing person. So Tuck, here's my post to you.. ;)

"What are the signs & symptoms in emery's life which she thinks might point to evidences of quarter-life-crisis?" (feels like an essay)

In my opinion, it all starts with volatility... like u said, getting out of the comfort zone of Uni and into the working world.. can be pretty daunting for us young adults. The fear of not doing enough in these few years before u turn 30 and yet not knowing what exactly you want to achieve in life. Society these days demand a lot, or more like we demand a lot from ourselves due to higher education. And with hectic schedules and time passing by so quickly, we set lots of goals to achieve and find that there could not be enough time. Like I wanna travel lots (to Europe especially & the States), I wanna further my studies, I wanna do this and that... I want to find work that I'm passionate about, I want to go on a missions trip etc etc. So what I've been doing is just trying to execute as much as I can, such as my impulsive holidays and stuff - the Just Do It attitude. And enjoying life - indulging in good food, hanging out and yet working hard.

Work is another area where you suddenly have no guidance whatsoever unlike in Uni where there's always a textbook. There is no textbook here, what's on paper is usually easier said than done. This week itself I was facing resistance from my clients, trying to win over their confidence... which fortunately succeeded .. however, if it was in Uni I would probably be writing about how I would deal with it and get a high distinction. But in real life, you just grapple around and figure it out yourself. It applies to other aspects of my life too.. but I'm just hanging in there and letting God lead the way.

I am having heaps of fun and generally satisfied with my life - but each week, I think to myself "Am I getting my priorities right? Am I using my time right? Will I be able to achieve my end result with what I am doing?". I guess it all stems down to "I don't want to look back in my life and see that I've not done anything of significance - except consuming heaps of vegetables, meat and cakes (ok I pig out on cakes a lot)." ;) So that's my answer to you :)

Saturday, July 23, 2005


I just had my follow up check on my ankle. The good news was that the ligaments are healing well but the bad news is that I still have to wear my brace for another 2 weeks!!!! Well, the doctor said that in the "old" days, he would have to put me in a crutch and cast for my ankle, so I guess a brace isn't that bad. I'm gonna attempt driving, cannot stand being immobile for so long, but I've been told I'm already dangerous enough without the brace ;)

Come to think of it, my ankle issue has been quite a blessing. Managed to talk to my clients more since now there's a common topic and they have been very helpful in suggesting different remedies. Also got closer to my colleagues who are nice enough to give me a lift to work every morning for the past month & to the hospital, plus those who just enjoy making fun of my sprained ankle, asking questions like "so, can u dance?", "how's ur elephant leg?", "r u sure u sprained it just by looking at ur phone?".. etc etc. Not to mention one of them likes to imitate how I limp. It has also helped me to slow down my activities... which was what I wanted to do, reduce my spending (can't go far limping while shopping) and yea, reminding me not to take simple things for granted, such as walking. It indeed has been a humbling experience. It'd be a month more before I am 'completely' healed (hopefully). And I so miss my shoes, the only shoe I've been able to fit in with the brace is the one below, which is not even mine, my sister's.


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Sunday, July 17, 2005

The Difference

I got up early one morning
And rushed right into the day
I had so much to accomplish
That I didn't have time to pray
Problems just tumbled about me and heavier came each task
"Why doesn't God help me?," I wondered
He answered, "You didn't ask"
I wanted to see joy and beauty
but the day toiled on gray and bleak
I wondered, "Why doesn't God show me?"
but He said, "You didn't seek"
I tried to come into God's presence
I used all my keys at the lock
God gently and lovingly chided "My child, you didn't knock"
I woke up early this morning and paused before entering the day
I had so much to accomplish that I had to take time to pray

Suddenly remembered this poem, on a bookmark given to me by my brother several years back. Serves as a gentle reminder for me to always depend on God for strength because there are so many things in life in which I need His help.

I suppose whether you are a Christian or not, you would still go through similar problems, face similar challenges and go through very difficult times... so some may wonder "Why bother being a Christian then and add to the burden??"

Well, the difference is that I know Who I can depend on, turn to for help and for my source of strength when everything else seems impossible. Though like any fallible human being, I have my ups and downs but trust me, it is a life changing experience and I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

Check out Life: Live it Loud! if you're free this Saturday 23 July 05.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Perpetually happy!

I've recently been told that I'm perpetually happy. Really?? *surprised* But I seriously do feel pretty happy lately :) Perhaps the optimism from Bonk has rubbed off on me. Hahhaha... and apparently I laugh at the end of each sentence during phone conversations. Maybe that's my version of a full stop (unconsciously).

Anyway, I've definitely learnt that happiness is a state of mind! Anyone can be happy if they choose to be! Plus, these 2 days I've indulged in chocolates... heaps of chocolates, thanks to a colleague who came back from UK with a bagful and I'm like the main consumer. Well according to Mr. Jon, chocolates release endorphins... the body's "feel good" chemical. Interesting!! Here's an article I found on chocolate:

Maybe I really should eat more chocolate ;)

"...Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength" Nehemiah 8:10

Sunday, July 10, 2005

You can't have everything

I don't believe a person can have everything without giving up some things. Yea, it may seem that some people you know seem to have "everything" but if you know them better, you'd realize that there are some things lacking in their lives.

I once knew a friend who is really wealthy, lives in the nicest place and has everything imaginable but was always wanting attention and annoyed people heaps. Later, he mentioned that it was because his parents gave him everything except their time and attention.

It's really hard to find the right balance - to serve God, pursue your career, have a social life etc. Those who believe they can achieve all of that without sacrificing some things are probably not too honest with themselves. Even simple things like sleeping & health are sometimes 'sacrificed' to achieve all that. I would say the best thing is to get your priorities right - something that I am still working on. I hope I can look back in life one day and know that I've made a difference and made the right choices and sacrifices. :)

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" Matthew 6:21

Friday, July 08, 2005

Is this a sitcom? :)

I had the funniest conversations with 2 of my closest friends from high school. One of them hasn't called me for ages, and last weekend she called and it went something like this:

F: Hey wanna meet up?
Me: Sorry, can't go too far, I sprained my ankle.
F: Hey, ME TOO!!!
Me: What? Seriously??? Which ankle?
F: Right ankle
Me: ME TOO!!

At this point I thought it was hilarious, I mean.. how often do people sprain their ankles at the same time?? But the phone line got cut off. Curious to find out how she sprained it, I called her back when I got home from dinner....

Me: Hey, so how did u sprain it?
F: You first
Me: Ok, I was walking down the stairs, playing with my handphone and missed a step and fell. Your turn..
F: Haha..I was reading the SMS stating that I passed a very difficult subject, got so excited, missed a step and fell!

Hahaha... seriously almost hard to believe. Then, a few days later, another good friend of mine SMS-ed me and it went something like this:

"Hey, I wanted to call you last night. Guess what? I tripped on some phone cables and fell down the stairs! I'm in a bit of a pain but somehow I just find it pretty funny."

I asked if she was alright, and yea tell me about it, it's extremely funny.

Maybe that's why we all get along so well ;)

Right now, I just got back from the hospital, put on an ankle brace for 2 weeks. Checkup in 2 weeks time. Apparently I had stretched / torn 3 ligaments on my ankle and could have been healed earlier IF I had worn the brace immediately. One stupid mistake of falling. Oh well, at least the x-ray shows no broken bones!! :)

Monday, July 04, 2005

Does financial planning EVER work??

I did it, I finally recorded my expenses for the month of June just to see where my money has gone to. It's amazing how little amounts of expenditure can add up to soooo much *gasps* I've also learnt that the nice shiny plastic card is an EVIL thing to own.

When I told a colleague at the beginning of last month that I was gonna track my expenditure, he laughed and said that he tried too, but it's simply impossible. His theory is: It may work for the 1st month but subsequently, there will always be something unexpected that will crop up that requires that 'excess' spending.... birthdays, dinners, accidents etc etc. Oh well... so my question is: Is there anyone out there who can actually save according to their targets and be disciplined? Especially young working adults that is. ;)

The culprit of it all is my constant need for retail therapy!! Those uncontrollable urges to buy those lovely shoes, bags, clothes... argh! How can one resist? And ironically, my dad just passed me my credit card statement for the month! Ack...

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Yes, I many shoes do I need? I'm not a caterpillar ;)

Saturday, July 02, 2005

When God Ran

Almighty God,
The Great I Am
Immoveable Rock
Omnipotent powerful

Awesome Lord
Victorious Warrior
Mighty Conquerer
Commanding King of Kings
And the only time
the only time I ever saw Him run

Was when He ran to me
Took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest
And said "My son's come home again"
Looked in my face
Wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
He said "Son, do you know I still love you?"

It caught me by surprise when God ran

The day I left Home, I knew I'd broken His heart
I wondered if things would ever be the same
Then one night, I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road, ahead I could see
It was the only time, the only time
I ever saw Him run

Was when He ran to me
Took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest
And said "My son's come home again"
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
He said "Son, do you know I still love you?"

It caught me by surprise, It dropped me to my knees
When God ran

Holy God, Righteous One
Who turned my way
Now I know
You've been waiting for this day

What beautiful lyrics.... I'm touched by this song.
Thanks Yin Sern!

Friday, July 01, 2005

My right foot

So I sprained my right foot. Had too much fun last weekend, and my foot has finally forced me to slow down my activities. Still at a blur on how it happened, I was reading the reminders on my handphone (yes, the annoying beeping ones I set everyday) while walking down the stairs to breakfast and the next thing I knew I was on the floor. Ouch!

Anyway, still made it home from Pangkor, carried my luggage and into the ferry etc. but when I got home it started to swell. Saw the doc the next day, and he said I tore a ligament. Wow. Is it that serious? I didn't believe him anyway. I did accidentally stretch my foot in the morning and it hurt like hell, so maybe it's true to some extent ;) but I'm still not taking any painkillers. Hate drugs.

I'm pretty stubborn. I am. And this ankle injury just flashed back those helpless days when I had my back operation. The helplessness of not being able to do the simple things - like crawling under the table to plug in my laptop power cable or running down the stairs. I get frustrated, I try and do more things than I should. Then, I thank God that it's not as bad, if I could survive my back surgery, I can do anything. I am just impatient, I need to drive, I have so much I want to do. I even miss dancing(!). This time, I thought I'd better rest. Try to fight my own stubbornness. Coz apparently an ankle injury should not be taken lightly - could have more severe impacts later if not taken care of. Eek! And I do not need any more metal implants in my body than I already have ;) I'm not intending to set off the metal detectors haha...

So, this is my first slow moving weekend. The bliss of doing... nothing.