Saturday, April 23, 2005

I love all things French

I've just finished watching Amelie. Simply captivating. Loved it... the storyline, the music, the mood, the setting, the beautiful streets of Paris, the language. Another Jean-Pierre Jeunet classic with Audrey Tautou. I wish I could speak French for real... it's probably the most beautiful language in the world. French humour too is so stark, so blatant that it's funny, hard to describe.

I wish I was in a movie... then I'd know the script, I would set the scene and I would tell how the story unfolds, and how it will end. I could paint myself in different colours, and those around me with different hues as I see fit... and I would be the master storyteller. I would live in my dreams, away from the realities of this world, where no one needs to understand why or how or when and there is no dimension of time. Where things can be reversed, and be forwarded.. where everything is beautiful, almost surreal. I could be a writer, a painter, capturing every essence of things around me. If only..If only..

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Too polite?

I’ve been told several times that I’m too polite. Is there such a thing? Sigh, living in this world where people can be just so plain rude is frustrating. Never thought though that there could be such a thing as being ‘too polite’. It’s probably a Chinese thing – u know, how my mother would apologize for ‘troubling’ others. Personally, I’d rather be too polite than to be plain rude and ungrateful. :)

I’ve encountered so many rude people traveling in the LRT. People can just push their way in, grab the handgrip that I’m holding (!!?!) and God knows what else they are capable of. I’ve heard stories of old ladies using umbrellas to shove their way in! There was even this one woman who did a Rambo-style thingy - shoving herself in the jammed pack LRT and grabbed hold of 2 handgrips.. when I am holding one of them. Geez!!

There’s also the case of grumpy old women who just seem like the whole world owe them something. I say women, coz sadly most of the time these people tend to be women. Grumpy, fussy, rude and sarcastic.. and making everyone else’s life as miserable as theirs. Why why why? Just feel like giving them a nice big smile and say “Cheer up lady!!”.

I guess I’m still all dewy-eyed but sometimes seriously, everyone in this world just need to LAUGH & SMILE more. It makes a big difference in my day. I get asked ‘Why are u laughing / smiling?” … and sometimes, do we really need a reason to? Haha.. perhaps it’s coz I laugh at my own corny jokes apparently ;) Who cares? As long as it makes me happy and I get a dose of laughter a day. That’s all I need. :D

Saturday, April 16, 2005

I am my own person

Have been having blog-blocks lately :) which explains the lack of updates. I have also been going through a lot of crazy self-discovery stuff and probably, going out way too much that I'm sooo *exhausted*.

I've just realized that there are a lot of people who let someone else define who they are and what they can become. Myself included. There's nothing wrong with seeking role models to look up to or for advice but in the end - I am my own person.

I've got my 'merger, acquisition or hostile takeover' theory for instance. This is in relation to couples in relationships. I tend to observe that some couples tend to be like a merger when they are together. Question: "How are you?" - Answer: "We are fine." An acquisition is like a possessive kind of relationship whereby there's a control freak who would not let the other person do what he/she wants... "You are not to go out with your friends tonight". And lastly the hostile takeover is just a sarcastic form of both - where one party dominates the other party without he/she agreeing to it, but nevertheless the weaker party succumbs to it unconsciously.

There are also issues with unrealistic expectations in relationships, as I read in Bonk's blog a few weeks ago. I mean seriously, if you want a companion 24/7 who is always happy and excited to see you irregardless, get a dog! If you want someone to keep your house clean, wash the car and make you 3 meals a day, get a maid! A lot of people tend to fall for an idealized version of their partner and try to morph them into that image. In the end, everyone has flaws and that's the beauty of it - accepting and loving someone with their flaws intact. Like Maroon 5 says "It's not always rainbows and butterflies but compromise that moves us along". :)

And lastly, I remember my brother-in-law telling me a few years back to remember that "There is no guy so good that you cannot live without", referring to a friend's extremely possessive bf at that stage. They were trying to get her out of it, and she has been and is now happily married. I guess there are a lot of us who are trapped in unhappy relationships or unresolved issues simply because of the fear of losing it. I guess sometimes you just have to let go and let fate take over.

I quote Tuck once again, because I could not have put it any better. ;)
"...more importantly let life and time teach you about yourselves. Time to learn about yourself, your strengths, your tolerance and your weaknesses as an individual."

I am my own person. Accept me as I am, and no other.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

What is Love?

Love, to me, is a very mysterious thing. It does make the world go round and all that, but it's so much more than that. Love entails loving someone unconditionally - despite physical appearances, a person's weaknesses or material possessions. It entails loving someone for who they are not what they can become. It's about knowing and accepting the person's weaknesses and yet loving them for it. It's about understanding the other person's passions, beliefs and values and being excited with them about it, even though they may not be the same as yours.

Love is not about selfish desires - what I can get out of that person but rather what I can give. True love prevails despite the circumstances because each knows how much they mean to each other and how no one else in the world can replace what they have. Love is having faith even when things do not seem too promising, but knowing that it is worth it. Love is telling someone how much you appreciate and love them as often as you can.

There are many who have been in several relationships and yet, never understand what love really is. It is not just about champagne, roses, dinners and expensive gifts. It is so much more than that and it definitely is very hard to love unconditionally but never impossible. Perhaps the best definition of love is:

"Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails..." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Please don't tell anyone u love them until you truly understand what love really is.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

'It is more blessed to give than to receive'

This weekend has been awesome because I got my first paycheck and am finally able to pay for people's meals. Haha.. sounds funny but it's just that being the youngest in the family, I've always been pampered with "don't worry, u can pay when u make ur own money" so now it's finally the time that I can actually do that. Empowering!

Managed to shout my family dinner and several friends... which was what I intended to do with my first paycheck. I was asked "what are u going to do for yourself?".. I initially thought of highlighting my hair or shop for work clothes but now all that sounds too much of self-indulgence. Self-indulgence that I've been engaged in for far too long. I've finally understood what the bible meant by "It is more blessed to give than to receive"... and that I tell you, is an awesome feeling.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

'If only the fish in the net learn not to struggle'

This blog entry is inspired by Tuck :) Don't know if I got the saying right about "If only the fish in the net learn not to struggle" or something along those lines. Anyway, it's to do with accepting things as they are and not struggling with the circumstances which will only make things worse.

I guess I have been struggling a lot with myself trying to adapt to my new lifestyle in KL. Working life is different, let alone that I've been living a carefree student life in Australia for the past few years, it has become like my 2nd home. I never anticipated that it would be this hard, after all it's just 'going back home'. Should've gone for those "Preparing to return to your home country" seminars at Uni. They told us that there would be adjustments but I didn't bother. I guess for some of my friends who fly home every single semester break and love their home countries, it's a breeze to be back. A friend of mine just wrote to me that she's very much comfortable here but feel like she left half her heart in OZ & mentioned that that must sound crazy... but I totally relate to that. But like the fish caught in the net, I just gotta accept things as they are and not torture myself further by struggling. :)