Sunday, April 30, 2006


Escapism is awesome. Why can't I embrace escapism? Must I conform to the realities of the world and what society expects of me?

The escapism side of me speaks once again. It tries to pull me to its side, I mean, it's the alternate route to the issues, it's the beautiful road ahead when everything's gloomy, it's the sunflowers in the fields amidst the dead lilies you see, it's the rainbow after the heavy storms... so why run away from it?

No one is really always cheerful and happy. That's just a facade or the majority of the time what the person chooses to show to the world. No one likes moody, grumpy folks. Yea, my escapism... aaah, perhaps one day, yes one day, I will be able to live it... and not just dream about it. Yes, I'm sure there's an exit somewhere, I just have to find it.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Thoughts, enclosed..

Everyone deserves to be happy and given the best in life, but not all obtain it..
Never let someone in, knowing that you will lose them..
Make time for the people and things you love, else there'd be no time to reclaim them...
Parting is always painful, no matter how you tell yourself it won't be..
People move away, move on, and you just have to get used to it till you are immune to them...
Each person, no matter how good or how evil, will always leave prints on your heart...
How do you not let work affect your health & emotions when you spend three quarters of your day at work...
There are always people who keep their feelings & emotions so close to themselves that you can never guess their predicaments...

Even pets have feelings & deserve the best.. I'm sorry that I've not been a good owner, I should've made more time but you still remain loyal & happy to see me each time... It was never my idea or intention to let you down or come & stay here. I hope you'd be happier in someone else's hands.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Annual Dinner & Dance 06

My pixxies from the AD&D nite, my first one since I joined the firm. :) I was one of the fashion police (still unsure of who nominated me), catching anyone who wasn't dressed in theme, pretty fun role... though I wish I didn't have to make the props that I suggested ;) All in all, great fun, great company & a night to remember... yes, what an overdue blog entry!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

My little Johari window


(known to self and others)

caring, cheerful, intelligent, organised, patient

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

able, adaptable, bold, clever, complex, confident, dependable, energetic, extroverted, friendly, giving, happy, helpful, idealistic, kind, loving, modest, reflective, religious, searching, self-assertive, self-conscious, sentimental, shy, silly, spontaneous, trustworthy, warm, witty


(known only to self)


(known to nobody)

accepting, brave, calm, dignified, independent, ingenious, introverted, knowledgeable, logical, mature, nervous, observant, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, responsive, sensible, sympathetic, tense, wise

Dominant Traits

66% of people think that emeryz is friendly

All Percentages

able (5%) accepting (0%) adaptable (5%) bold (5%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (22%) cheerful (44%) clever (22%) complex (5%) confident (5%) dependable (5%) dignified (0%) energetic (33%) extroverted (11%) friendly (66%) giving (5%) happy (27%) helpful (5%) idealistic (5%) independent (0%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (33%) introverted (0%) kind (5%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (0%) loving (16%) mature (0%) modest (11%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (33%) patient (27%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (11%) relaxed (0%) religious (11%) responsive (0%) searching (11%) self-assertive (5%) self-conscious (11%) sensible (0%) sentimental (5%) shy (5%) silly (44%) spontaneous (16%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (11%) warm (22%) wise (0%) witty (16%)

Well, apparently I am friendly, silly & energetic! Very eye-opening indeed to see what others see you, compared to what you see yourself. I have to say though, that I do portray what I want to portray to others but only those who are close to me, will truly know the complete person that I am :) Thanks for your input guys!! ;) It's funny.

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 13.4.2006, using data from 18 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Of disappointments and hope?

Recently, I've had interesting conversations on the topics above. The first was about disappointment. A good friend of mine told me that we should expect everyone to disappoint us. We had a long debate over MSN on that. The disagreement started when I said that I put a lot of trust on my family and it's not realistic to say that they won't disappoint me, but I emphasized that I would give my family members the benefit of doubt. If family cannot be depended upon, then who can?

Of course, everyone being human will disappoint us, and so will we disappoint them. This has also to do with expectations we set on others, which in turn determines the level of disappointment. I mean, from young, if we expected our parents to show up at a play that we are acting in, and they didn't, we get disappointed. However, I disagreed with the fact that we should expect everyone we meet to disappoint us straightaway and just be prepared for that. I think it's quite sad to do so, because then, everything looks gloomy & cynical. Yes, people do and will disappoint us, but must we live each day, expecting for that to happen?

Another interesting article was sent to me by another close friend, about hope. Hope, he mentions, is actually evil. Again, I see how that can be argued, which once again is linked to disappointment... when we hope for something, and it doesn't happen, we get disappointed. However, again, I beg to differ that hope is evil, because I was at a phase in my life where the only thing I had to cling on to was hope. When there was nothing else left, without hope, I would have lost it all. Though it may seem like some unrealistic optimism, but to me, having hope is better than not. Because not all hopes and expectations disappoint us, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

And I rather focus on the light, and fight off the darkness that distract me along the way. After all, life is about living, so I try to make the best out of each short day. After all, everything is subjective & depends on how we overcome it - be it good things or bad things. It's amazing how we can program our minds to be able to make it through adversity. We, the human race, are indeed stronger than we think.