Thursday, February 22, 2007

Eternal Sunshine of a (de)Maximized Mind

In about 3 hours, I would land in the familiar place that I call home. The past 14 days were spent in pure bliss, in a demaximized way.

"Maximizer" is a term my 'mentor' used to describe the kind of person that I am - needing to make sure that I make the most of every second and minute, fearing that I may have lost out if I made the wrong decisions.

Taking things slow, in a purely new yet familiar environment, I realize that life is indeed a journey. We can only plan, but God directs our paths and as long as I'm in the center of His will, I feel secure. Everything is under His control - what a relief to get this macro picture.

It was indeed a fantastic demaximizing trip - taking time to talk, really talk and catch up with my old friends and cousin. How I treasure each and every one of them from my friendships formed during my Uni days. I love how we can always pick up from where we left off with the same amount of depth and intensity. It is good to learn that despite the miles, distance and lifestyle, but if we are true to ourselves, we all face the same issues at the core of it all. Being in the mid-20s, we are just so focused on 'ourselves', on making it there, showing a facade, but life is to be lived, and does not stop once we hit the big 30. We need to slow down and smell the roses, and enjoy them for their colour and all the beauty that they are. Life is never fair but we can choose our reactions to these circumstances. Our reactions are always within our control.

Some highlights of my trip include sitting on the grass along the river bank, overlooking the massive city across the river, as though they were completely different worlds. I love to be on the other side, for once. I sat on the bench and watched the contrast between the old and the new. I walked along the streets with clean air and clear blue skies and observed the strangers that pass me by and wonder what's on their minds. I sipped coffee, and enjoyed the soft tint of sunshine upon my face reminding me of the brighter side of life, despite all that it is.

It was not about how much I managed to squeeze into my tight schedule or the places I needed to go. Distance taught me how important some people are to me, and how no matter how much I love a place, it is always the people that drew me to it. If not for the people, a place is merely made up of concrete buildings painted upon green grass and blue skies with plastic figurines. I am longing to be home - to be where my heart is. To be with the person who truly loves me for who I am. And in all these, I thank God for all the greatness and blessings He has poured upon me, for who can ever, ever be more blessed?

- Signing off,
A (de)maximized emery