Life through the eyes of emery

Nuggets of life at this juncture...

2008-08-13T04:48:00.000-07:00

Random collection of things that I've learnt at this juncture of my life.... (especially after being exposed to the "real world" post Uni days)... :) Serves as a reminder to myself.

Manage upwards, besides managing downwards. It makes a lot of difference who you work with. You can't change your boss, neither do most bosses bother to accommodate to your work style - in order to survive, you'd need to manage to suit his/her style. It will make both parties happier. However, you shouldn't need to compromise your own work style, strike a balance. My happiest times are when my bosses' values & principles are similar to mine & they believe and trust me and allowed me to work independently. I absolutely detest micro-management (even ants don't need to be told what to do every second and controlled - might as well hire a robot!)
Learn to accept people as they are - we spend far too much time being frustrated by someone else's behaviour. It helps to sometimes laugh it off every now and then. If everyone was created like you, the world will be a boring place.
Love your job, but don't get 'emotionally involved' with the company. It is afterall an entity - it will and can survive without you. It cannot love you back.
You know who your true friends are, when you leave.
Work towards your own life's goals, not for the sake of seeking people's approval. You'd end up being a slave to work.
Stand up for what you believe is right - even though it may make you the minority. Have guts!
People matter! As I have read, people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care. Take care of your people, just as you take care of the servers and PCs - people are assets too! (Some people fail to realize that)
There is sometimes a bigger risk, in not taking a risk.
Short term pain for long term gain...
Keep yourself happy - it's a choice we make everyday!
Every now & then, stop and think where you are heading.
Courage is being afraid, but going ahead with it anyway.
Everything in life is a choice. No one forces you, but it is the invisible force created by yourself about what the world tells you, that you need to do.
Always do a great job!
Always make time for the things that are important to you.
Prayer works! A friend of mine wrote "It is not hard to see God's hand in your life" - I am truly blessed! Some say that I'm 'lucky', but the truth is - all glory is to God who answers my prayers.
The more you give, the more you receive. I don't know why, but it seems to work that way. I am continuously touched by how much more I have received from giving.
There is no greater discovery than true love.
Eventually, the truth will be uncovered - you can only get so far with bullshit. The stench will speak for itself. People do get away with it, but at the cost of being associated with the smell.
Many proud, arrogant people are actually broken inside.
Those who boast and speak most about their successes to others, are in fact the most insecure.
No one has ever succeeded in accomplishing great things, without passion & determination.

It's amazing how much I have learnt at this juncture of my life, and I'm really thankful for the nuggets of wisdom imparted by my many mentors! I would be grateful if I only had one mentor, but I have had the privilege of many, many mentors... including my siblings, church leaders, ex-bosses, ex-tutor. Thank you!!

Crossroads

2008-04-26T02:12:00.000-07:00

It has been ages since I have blogged, but it seems timely to put in a thought or two while I’m at crossroads. I was reading through my old blogs, and it really brought back memories of how I felt at a certain time, which is priceless.

This year has been a whirlwind for me. It started with a massive world travel, something that I’ve always wanted to try. I just love to travel, a very expensive hobby, unfortunately. But there is just so much to see, so much to experience and taste how a different culture is like. I suppose you could say that I tie it very closely to my escapism thoughts (running away from reality for a bit). Anyhow, I’ve kinda tasted for a short stint what it’s like to travel for work. Not half as glamorous as it may sound, but I can say at least I have tried. You just know that you have traveled too much when….

- You spend more time in airports than in your own room
- You have more than 1 frequent flyer card
- You don’t mind spending money on travel related items (especially trolley bags and more trolley bags!)
- You carry so many different currencies in your wallet, you get confused
- You can memorize airport procedures
- You can memorize all the announcements …”An aerotrain is arriving…”
- You take more than an hour to do your expenses claims for the month

I’m sure many people who have traveled for work excessively would testify to that. :) Ironically, I am glad to be home! I suppose too much of something, makes you sick (e.g. taking more than 20 flights in 2 months).

Why do people always ask, “What do you want to do in life?” . I find that a very tough question to answer. Apparently most people still don’t know what they want to do in their fourties. I’m in my twenties and I am supposed to know what I am supposed to do? Anyway, it is a very confusing time – “finding your place in the world”, “wanting to make a difference or an impact”… etc. I’m an idealist. I dream and think a lot, could I be a full time dreamer? The problem with idealists is that they do not take much action and refuse to face reality (or it’d take a lot longer to hit the ground). Well, I would say that I’m still making my descent.

Steve Jobs said that the dots will all connect somehow. I truly believe in that. Everything happens for a reason, it all leads to finding out your real purpose. Even though in each situation, you may ask “Why am I in this situation? Why did I get myself into this”? If I hadn’t tasted the short stint travel for work, I may still think that it is something that will be fulfilling for me. Now I realize that it comes with a lot of costs. If I hadn’t had bad experience in relationships, I wouldn’t have been able to make wiser decisions and appreciative of my current relationship & what is truly important. If I haven’t gone through bad management, I wouldn’t learn what good management and leadership is. I do hope to remind myself to be more optimistic and worry less, to live in the present and not float too long in the ‘future’ that I have imagined (with many complex scenarios and what-ifs).

It is often the fear that we have instilled upon ourselves that is the real obstacle. The fear of others’ perception, of our Asian society that puts a lot of emphasis on ‘money, prestige and position’ - what’s up with people boasting all the time about how “well” they are doing? I utterly cannot stand that. I believe that if you are good at what you do, you don’t need to announce to the world, people will know. And there are too many people in our twenties (myself included), living beyond our means. We live the life that we were brought up in because our parents have made many sacrifices and effort to get to that stage (like working hard for over 20 years) – and yet, we have just started off our careers and living as though we are earning as much as them. It’d definitely be an interesting study of our generation and what this path leads us to? Many of us do not understand the true value of earning a living, there is no thought about long-term sustainability, in short, refusing to grow up. Well some are lucky to have a fortune that can last through their lifetime, but for the others, it’s definitely time to wake up.

I hope I’d be hitting the ground soon… (but then again, what’s life without big dreams? *wink*)

Being there...

2007-07-28T23:14:00.000-07:00

Most people ask what the most important thing in a relationship with your loved ones is. I discovered my answer yesterday, which is simply being there. You may not know what to do or what to say, with the uncertainties and anxieties looming, but simply being there may be all. Relatives that you can count upon, to turn up at your door when problems arise, your partner that will be there for you no matter what, and family who will be there to support and pray together.

Suddenly, everything else seem meaningless – status, power, work, titles, worries. The things that we do to chase all that, the worries that clog our minds are the very things that cause the problems. What is really important? Where does our time go to? Do we really know what it means to be there for each other? A kind word spoken, a loving action, a simple prayer…

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:7

Have you ever experienced God’s perfect peace? The calm amidst the storm, the strength amidst the tribulations and comfort amidst the uncertainties… and He shows Himself so real ever once again. And these words from the song ‘Made me glad’ discover its new meaning in me:

I will bless the Lord forever
I will trust Him at all times
He has delivered me from all fear
He has set my feet upon a rock
I will not be moved
And I'll say of the Lord
You are my shield, my strength
My portion, deliverer
My shelter, strong tower
My very present help in time of need

Yes, my very present help in time of need. Who else can I turn to for comfort & for perfect peace? He is in control of everything.

Please do stop and think – am I so caught up in chasing the wind that I do not have time to be there for others?

Time is a commodity that you have free access over, and the power is in your hands in how you would share it.

Acceptance

2007-04-08T02:59:00.000-07:00

True love is about acceptance - accepting the other person’s weaknesses, bad habits, attitude & character. There’s nothing more that people long for than acceptance. Being in a new work environment, going to an unfamiliar country, starting a new school – the first thing we all fear, is not being accepted.

I've learnt more about acceptance in the past weeks than I’ve ever had. Last week, I went on a road trip for the usual ‘Ceng Beng’ festival with my parents. My parents truly teach me the meaning of acceptance. They have been together since high school and my mum always jokes that she can read my dad so well that before he does or says anything, she already knows what he’s up to. It’s amazing how they are so different and yet share a very loving relationship – both aware of each other’s differences and annoying habits, but like my mum would say “Everyone’s different”. My dad is ever so patient with my mum and always supports & accepts her as she is.

Another example that I’ve seen time and again is to do with rebellious children. Why are they rebellious? It’s because of the lack of acceptance from their parents. Being the typical Asian parents, it is not unfamiliar to hear things like “Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister/cousin?”. In many cases, when the child realizes that he/she can never meet up to that ‘expectation’ set by his/her parents, he/she becomes rebellious. It truly just takes a simple step – to accept the child and realize the uniqueness of each individual. Because of this comparison, most parents are blinded by their own children’s natural talents, just cause they are too busy comparing with someone else’s sons or daughters. And how many doctors, lawyers and accountants do we need anyway?

I’ve also just returned from visiting my church’s drop-in center where druggies and homeless people are welcomed to drop in for free food, medical check-ups etc. We went around the streets to distribute food to them & it was indeed an eye-opening experience – we don’t have to go to other 3rd world countries to experience this, when it is actually just a 20 minutes drive away – there are tons of people in need of help and basic necessities! Again, just accepting them as they are, and not discriminating means a lot to them. After all, God created us all equal – it’s just the circumstances that differ and not everyone is so fortunate, which doesn’t give us the right to discriminate.

Being accepted allows the other person to freely be themselves without being judged. It is difficult to do, simply because we are not perfect. Our first instinct is to judge, to criticize & to sound. The perfect example is God’s love, no matter how unworthy we are, how much sin we’ve committed, how evil we are, whether we live in the streets, we are the outcast of society or we are from a broken home, it does not matter. He loves us just the same. That’s why Easter means so much to me, because it reminds me of the power of His resurrection, of the hope that He brings to the world, by sacrificing His life.

“Greater love has no one than this, that He lay down His life for His friends” John 15:13

Happy Easter!

Eternal Sunshine of a (de)Maximized Mind

2007-02-22T16:28:00.000-08:00

In about 3 hours, I would land in the familiar place that I call home. The past 14 days were spent in pure bliss, in a demaximized way.

"Maximizer" is a term my 'mentor' used to describe the kind of person that I am - needing to make sure that I make the most of every second and minute, fearing that I may have lost out if I made the wrong decisions.

Taking things slow, in a purely new yet familiar environment, I realize that life is indeed a journey. We can only plan, but God directs our paths and as long as I'm in the center of His will, I feel secure. Everything is under His control - what a relief to get this macro picture.

It was indeed a fantastic demaximizing trip - taking time to talk, really talk and catch up with my old friends and cousin. How I treasure each and every one of them from my friendships formed during my Uni days. I love how we can always pick up from where we left off with the same amount of depth and intensity. It is good to learn that despite the miles, distance and lifestyle, but if we are true to ourselves, we all face the same issues at the core of it all. Being in the mid-20s, we are just so focused on 'ourselves', on making it there, showing a facade, but life is to be lived, and does not stop once we hit the big 30. We need to slow down and smell the roses, and enjoy them for their colour and all the beauty that they are. Life is never fair but we can choose our reactions to these circumstances. Our reactions are always within our control.

Some highlights of my trip include sitting on the grass along the river bank, overlooking the massive city across the river, as though they were completely different worlds. I love to be on the other side, for once. I sat on the bench and watched the contrast between the old and the new. I walked along the streets with clean air and clear blue skies and observed the strangers that pass me by and wonder what's on their minds. I sipped coffee, and enjoyed the soft tint of sunshine upon my face reminding me of the brighter side of life, despite all that it is.

It was not about how much I managed to squeeze into my tight schedule or the places I needed to go. Distance taught me how important some people are to me, and how no matter how much I love a place, it is always the people that drew me to it. If not for the people, a place is merely made up of concrete buildings painted upon green grass and blue skies with plastic figurines. I am longing to be home - to be where my heart is. To be with the person who truly loves me for who I am. And in all these, I thank God for all the greatness and blessings He has poured upon me, for who can ever, ever be more blessed?

- Signing off,
A (de)maximized emery

Why I believe in God...

2006-12-05T08:04:00.000-08:00

He changed my life,
He gave me a reason & purpose to live,
He loves me so much, more than I can ever fathom,
He has never left me nor forsaken me despite all the wrongs that I've done & despite walking away from Him,
He really takes care of me & looking back, everything whether good or bad were also part of His plan..
He changed me in ways that I could never imagine... from a shy, quiet person with low self-esteem to a more confident, outspoken person today,
He takes care of every intricate detail of my life,
He never short changes me when I trust Him but offers me only the best,
He helps me in my darkest hours when I have no one else to turn to - He is there,

How can I not believe there is a God?
He is so real, so real to me,
There is nothing more that I could ask for than knowing the Almighty God.

This Christmas, there is no greater gift that I want for my family and friends, than hoping that they too will discover the love of God... and have the life changing experience that I have ... Blessed Christmas!

Of pea pods...

2006-10-08T03:00:00.000-07:00

Here is a story on pea pods. Why pea pods? Coz it sounds cute & may not have any significance whatsoever, I just like the word. ;)

The first pea pod was kind and loyal, always taking care of the other pods and genuinely care for their wellbeing and thus, disliked its trust being breached. The second pea pod was more selfish as it put its own survival as first priority though it still thought of the other pods whenever it had the time to. The third pea pod cared only of its wellbeing and went to the other pods for help only when its wellbeing was not being met but refused to help the other pods when they are in distress. The fourth pea pod is genuinely kind at heart but has many other pods to attend to and thus, have to subdivide its time between the pods, sometimes missing out on the important issues at hand.

I guess the moral of the story is that not all pea pods are created equal.

"Let us not be weary in doing good, for we will reap in due season, if we don't give up." Galatians 6:9

Snippet No. 3 - H-O-R and DoonaTi

2006-09-25T07:07:00.000-07:00

Last week, things got much better (in the sense that I didn't fall down or anything like that) but it also got crazier due to my impulsive, sponstaneous decisions.

So, I've decided to add Snippet No 3 in my To-Be book 'So, You Think You're Weird?'. It was also confirmed when someone told me over lunch that I'm 'abnormal' and '2nd level weird' (i.e. not as weird as someone else he knew). I asked what does THAT (being 'abnormal') mean and his response was "Well, Albert Einstein was abnormal and so was Alexander Graham Bell in their time". Hmm.. maybe I need to invent something soon or make some discovery, otherwise I'd just be plain weird.

So Snippet No 3 is about the 2 sponstaneous weird things I did last week thanks to Hold-One-Rice, nickname for my equally weird friend. On a peaceful Thursday night, we decided to go out for drinks.. but driving around aimlessly, we ended up at The Curve, parked the car, attempted to watch a movie but the cineplex was closed. Geez! Since it was nearly midnite, we thought we'd just crazily watch a midnite movie at 1U instead. So since it was so unplanned, I decided to go home and change first since the cinemas here try and simulate what it's like to watch a movie in an igloo. So we made it to 1U, unnecessarily worried IF there were tickets (in hindsight, why wud anyone watch midnite movies on a Thursday? Hahahha) and got the seats... and killed 45 minutes sitting in some modernized kopitiam. Man, I was sooooooo tired the next day it wasn't funny but still managed to meet the targets at work. Phew! It was really fun though!!

Then during the weekend, Hold-One-Rice somehow convinced me to do something really weird again... or maybe it was the weird-ness in the suggestion that made me agree to do it :P. We did some market survey by sitting around random restaurants and ordering drinks so that it didn't look so strange. I must say it's the weirdest thing to do. I bumped into a friend there and had difficulties explaining what I was actually doing in the shopping complex. All in all, we made amazing discoveries, like the amount of times people try different flavours and not buying any at all. Is that profitable? Oh well...

Hmmm I wonder what's next..

A series of unfortunate events?

2006-09-16T00:29:00.000-07:00

My week has finally ended. Man, what a week I had! It all started from the time I somehow managed to trip myself over at the office... thank goodness no one saw (besides one person), and I actually laughed at myself after that. :) This really calls for 'Snippet #2' in my to-be book "So, you think you're weird?"

Last Saturday, there was a MAJOR thunderstorm in my area, and the power got tripped by the lightning. Little did I know that my satellite TV and home PC got fried too :( . I came home on Sunday night and saw my parents listening to the radio in front of the turned-off TV. I asked what happened and Mum said "TV got struck". Kinda funny in a way, like the sixties.. where people just listened to the radio or so.

Then, on Monday, my laptop hard disk crashed all of a sudden while I was working. Had to get back to office to get it fixed and was praying hard that I didn't lose all the data since I'm not a regular "backup" person. I was given a temporary laptop to work from in the meantime.

While using the temporary laptop, before my meeting, I accidentally toppled the thermoflask with coffee and it spilt all over my table and my mouse. Fortunately, I grabbed the laptop on time before it hit and potentially killed the temporary laptop. My meeting notes and stuff were all smeared by coffee stains etc. Darn!

Sometime during the week as well, after work, I went to return a faulty product at Ikea and surprise of surprises, I parked the car, got out, walked towards the entrance, and realized that somehow there was no way to enter into Ikea! I looked at my plastic bag and it read "Open Daily from 10am to 10pm". I can't be THAT blur. I asked around and discovered that Ikea was closed on that ONE day I've decided to return my product - due to... annual dinner. 365 days a year and it had to be THAT day they chose to CLOSE.

To top my week off, I went to collect my fixed laptop from the office and met my best friend and we decided to get some coffee from the coffee machine (which I hardly get to enjoy since I'm always out of office). And, the first machine was "under maintenance". I tried the other machine, and after my friend took the first cup, guess what? The coffee ran out!

It was a tough week to get by - but I believe a bad week would be 'cancelled off' by a fantastic week and it's already starting to look good. The good things that came out of it were:

- My laptop got a new motherboard and it's running faster than usual; I didn't lose my data besides some random stuff, photos & Season 2 of Desperate Housewives..

- My home PC just got fixed with a few hundred Gigs of diskspace & DVD burner and reformatted (something which I have been putting off)

- My satellite TV just got fixed with a 2nd decoder (finally, no more fighting over who should watch which channel)

- I got my wi-fi working. OMG all these are starting to make me sound like a tech geek. :P

- My colleague's comment on my life from following me around the other day "Never a dull moment!"

- I got more sleep than anything this week (what's there to do with no TV/internet)

- I had motivation to gym so that I could watch TV :P

- I read the books that I've been putting off reading *so I'm wiser now*

Perhaps God was trying to get my attention and help me to refocus on things, thus taking away all the 'distractions' I have and making me "technologically-disabled". All in all, I would say everything turned out for the better! :)

"... Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" Job 2:10

He Knows..

2006-08-27T05:01:00.000-07:00

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and He hears me when I call

I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

1996 Doulos Publishing
Words and Music by Tommy Walker

When you realize how BIG He is, all our worries & problems become so small.

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

28 "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

Actual b'day celebration

2006-08-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

Oh my, such a belated post! Been meaning to continue my b'day celebration blogging but have been so caught up with everything. Anyway here it is...

This year, it's definitely a bonus - I managed to get an off-day for my b'day! Yay! Best part is, so did 2 of my friends.. thanks to the end-of-financial-year leave clearing.. :)

I was awakened by a call from my dearest sis from overseas, and spoke to her for 2 hours. :) Then, 3 of us (on leave) went for dim sum at Imbi Palace! Yummy!!

We ordered some funky food called 'Dragonbeard' above.. still can't figure out what it is. Some of us are 'not really' on leave with multiple phone calls. Luckily I wasn't roped in.

We then headed off to Chin Ai's place because she just had too many business calls & needed to access her laptop. ;) After chilling for a while, we decided to get a manicure & pedicure! And to top it off, I got a discount coz it's my bday. Yay!

Hehe.. love the flowers!

And to top it off, my family celebrated my b'day with me this year which was awesome. Mum got me a lovely marble cheesecake & we had ribs for dinner at a nearby restaurant.

My favourite pressies.. ;)

2nd birthday celebration @ TSB

2006-08-09T09:12:00.000-07:00

Had my 2nd be-early birthday celebration at TSB Bangsar on Saturday night... thanks Seow & Chin Ai for organizing, Jon for transport & Jo for getting the HUGE yummy White Chocolate Macadamia Cake with a little sugar doll princess.. mmmmmm.... and everyone for coming!!

My 2nd yummy huge cake & with best buds below

"There are too many candles on my cake!! Evil people.. I'm not 28!" Jo helping me remove them in this pic

Now that's better.. actual amount of candles pls :P

Dinner group .. Sonya's trying to stab me

Jeremy got this for me.. Sonya is trying to make my hair not catch fire. Can't see the flames in the picture... but it's starting to be a bday tradition! Argh.. got me sick the whole of Sunday. Evil evil thing.

Drinks upstairs... was great fun!! thank youuuu

1st birthday celebration - 3 days early!

2006-08-09T08:41:00.000-07:00

This year, I was fortunate enough to actually have 3 b'day celebrations... i.e. 3 cakes, and also was on leave on my birthday - now, that's a real bonus!!

Here are some pictures of my wonderful cell members celebrating my (be-early) bday for me on Friday:

My first birthday cake!

Having a laugh at my birthday quiz!

With the lovely girls! Thank youuu

And funny boys.. hehe

Honeycomb candles from Jac & CK - Thank youu!! and first bday card! :)

My wonderful cell leader, actually asked the members to answer some questions about me... i.e. my birthday quiz.. and boy, was I surprised at the answers! Here are some that I could remember:

What is her dream job?

Fashion consultant, fashion designer, dreaming, to look pretty and do nothing for her husband to be (isnt that every girl's dream? haha), no job... (my answer: travel guide on TV) :P

When is she happiest?

Shopping with unlimited budget, on leave, on holiday, during the sales (my answer: when I'm with close family & friends :) but of course all of the answers are correct too!!

When is she saddest?

No money to shop, under pressure, departures (my answer: departures of close friends & family esp at airport departure gates.. argh!)

Whose wardrobe would she like to raid?

Mariah Carey, Paris Hilton (?!), her own (my answer: any movie stars?)

What can't she live without?

Handphone, air, makeup, concealer, shopping (my answer: concealer kekeke.. someone was paying attention & actually got that right?!)

What makes her laugh?

Any stupid jokes will, any little thing that is funny, herself, when she makes other people laugh (my answer: corny jokes & cheap thrills) .. i amuse myself quite easily.. LOL

What makes her cry?

She doesn't, giving her dog away, sad movies, touching stories, any hurtful thing but then again she doesn't cry ..she's a strong willed person (my answer: sad movies) ... of course I cry :P - maybe I laugh too much at cell group to give u guys the impression that I don't cry hehehe..

Two bad movies.. in a row!

2006-07-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

Before you even think about watching these two movies, please read the following and save yourself some time.

The first one I watched last Wednesday was 'The Lake House' starring Keanu Reeves & Sandra Bullock. Reason being, it's Keanu & Sandra reunited after Speed! Gosh, little did I know that it was an adaptation (or copy) of the Korean movie, Il Mare. Hollywood remakes of Korean movies just doesn't do it... because if it was a Korean movie, you'd be more forgiving as it is often predictable - overdramatized, crying sobbing actors to the details of their mucus flowing out, lovey-dovey sugar-coated love stories etc. Put Keanu & Sandra in the picture and it just doesn't seem right. Nothing makes sense and was it even a romantic movie??? Doesn't help that they are living 2 years apart (however that happens) and 90% of the time are not shown together on scene anyway. Don't watch it!

So anyway, I thought that was bad, till M. Night Shymalan's 'Lady in the Water'. Watched it at midnight, thinking it was a scary movie.... and like one critic wrote "The most frightening part of the movie was how bad it was" LOL!!! Thumbs up for the sarcasm. The movie is nothing but a extremely try-hard to jive mythical bedtime story with modern day living - only problem is nothing jives. And I just don't get why he has to appear in all his movies - this one's really pushing it! I don't see great directors like Steven Spielberg appearing in his movies and yet he is famous. Love the movie critics' reviews below:

"There is something bizarrely compelling about the movie. It's slower than watching a train wreck but invokes that same level of disbelief." Los Angeles Times

"Crazy as this might sound, it turns out that self-indulgent ramblings designed to put your children to sleep are pretty much the opposite of art." The Globe & Mail (Toronto)

"Has the strengths and weaknesses of a one-man show." San Franscisco Chronicle

"You won't see anything else like it this summer, and you'd be really glad about that" One Man's Opinion

"None of this is fun to report from a critic's perspective. I'm a Shyamalan fan who greatly admires what he's trying to do, but Shyamalan's desperate desire to be the next Steven Spielberg has grown painful to witness." The Seattle times

Nuff said. You decide.

Le Fried Chicken..

2006-07-22T00:14:00.000-07:00

I finally realized what is going on.... I'm becoming a fried chicken... in other terms.... burnt out! Was reading this article on the symptoms of burning out, and it's freaky when you start to relate!

Loss of motivation, demoralized, dread getting to work everyday, trapped in an unwinnable situation, doing the bare minimum yet coming home feeling drained, feeling antisocial.... hmmm, bad bad signs. Was driving at 60km/h 10 mins to 9am, hoping for a massive jam or you know, those 'truck overturning at peak hours' or 'some stupid car breaking down in the middle of the road' or 'silly police convoys' incidents that must happen during peak hour traffic.. but none of that happened!

But all in all, I still have to get out of it. I am my own worst enemy... and sometimes the danger is you don't even have time to take a breather, to take a step back but I'm glad this weekend, I do have some to spare, hopefully it will help. Gotta get out!!

10 reasons why it is impossible to keep fit in Malaysia

2006-07-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to go on a diet for 1 week and a half but failing miserably. I have succumbed to list down 10 reasons on how difficult it is to keep fit in Malaysia!!

1. There's food everywhere!!! You'd never go hungry here, thanks to the 24 hour mamaks & hawker centers

2. My parents show their love via food, food and more food... you can never go hungry in my house

3. Everytime you want to diet, there's some buffet invitation (today), project dinner (this week!), project lunch (2 weeks time), wedding dinner (last Sat & again in 2 weeks time) or BBQ party around the corner (weekend)... which I can't escape because of commitments etc...

4. Salads are expensive, not readily available & not fresh!

5. I spend most of my time at work, sitting in front of my laptop. My only exercise/breather is walking to the toilet for toilet breaks

6. Going to the gym is too much effort (ok, ok.. excuses here) :P

7. There's a massive food fund for my project snacks & they are stored in my drawer next to me

8. Malaysians only eat, shop, eat, shop, sleep and eat some more.. there's nothing else we do on weekends (or weekdays!).. (as testified by Jason, my Aussie friend who visited for 2 weeks)

9. I love eating too much and exercising too little!

10. The drinks guy never understands what I mean when I say "Kopi, kurang manis" -- *watches in disbelief as kopi man puts 4 tablespoons of condensed milk into cup*

Alright, I will try harderrrr.. I promise! :)

Forza Azzuri!!! World Cup's over :(

2006-07-10T06:18:00.000-07:00

This early morning marks the end of the World Cup & back to normal life routine for most people. It's amazing how a game such as football can get all nations together to speak the same language. It's also amazing how I got interested to actually watch the football matches in the World Cup... as my friend reminded me just now, of how I was so disappointed at the guys who ditched the jazz bar for the England-Paraguay match at the beginning of the World Cup fever. I told them.. "Is it really that important that you have to watch the match?? What's so nice about 11 guys running after a ball?"

To satisfy my curiosity and being fed up of being ditched for football, I decided to watch a match. I think the first was England vs ... can't remember! England's match is sooo boring. Then, I started watching Italy vs Aussie... Brazil v Ghana.... England v Portugal... and on & on.... and realized how exciting the match actually is! When you watch it live, you never know what's going to happen next, and every minute counts - team dynamics can change, the scores can turn around and never underestimate the power of a good coach in controlling the game! :) So, it's not just bout chasing the ball huh..

Yes, I got hooked! Started to get wake up calls to watch the Semis... and then the Finals this morning. Man, I am sooooo tired now with only 2 hours of sleep. Soooo happy for the little blue Italian men! Everyone said that they were just pretty boys, well some of them really are, but at least they showed that they can play too! That's a double whammy! It was a dramatic match, very sad that Zidane had to mark the end of his career with a headbutt.. nevertheless, shit happens.

It was a moment of unsung heroes... like Grosso who took the last penalty shootout. All the highly proclaimed heroes, Thierry Henry, Zidane & Totti did not shine through. Much credit is to be given to Buffon as well, who just won the Best Goalkeeper award! (Woohoo!) And of course to Marcello Lippi who strategized it all. Never underestimate the power of teamwork , which I think the Italians did very well & improved over time. Forza Azzurri!!

Picture from Fifa World Cup website

Well, for the France fans, at least Zidane won the Golden Ball award - so that's a real redemption to mark the end of his career. He truly deserves it.. I mean, everyone makes mistakes. Cheers to a rather unusual World Cup (i.e. Brazil and Argentina got knocked out!) & I wonder if I'd still be so crazy about football. Highly unlikely, ask me in 4 years time! :P And yea, this is the first time I got my face painted...it's FUN, I should be in Germany!!

BUM-med out, BUM-mer, Love BUM!

2006-07-07T21:32:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was ze weekend that we've all been toiling with sweat and blood for - the weekend of BUM - my company's annual trip that everyone looks forward to each year. Being in the organizing committee made this year's event even more memorable, seeing that everyone had a great time, and all our planning was finally executed! Themed CoPa BUM, in view of the World Cup, everything was cleverly centered according to the World Cup - all games to do with balls. From a non-football fan, because of organizing this event, I am suddenly interested in football... ok, the footballers are cute too, but there are other interesting aspects!! ;)

I had withdrawal symptoms the whole of last week, with the lack of meetings and emails on BUM, since April, my mailbox has been flooded with emails, I've been making advertisements, videos, u name it - everything about BUM. And it's all over!! So quickly!

The weekend at the beach was great... sun, sand , sea & free booze! Met some really great people that I didn't know before this, and it's always awesome to have young, like-minded colleagues! I got dunked in the sea this time!! AND the pool... luckily it was only twice, some people got dunked repeatedly ... and did I mention time & again, I can't swim!! It's inevitable though to be dunked in the pool during BUM. Had a fantastic time with the Committee, planning & chilling, though sometimes tiring... but all in all, it was awesome. Could have been crazier, if not for the Quarter final matches taking up 2 whole nights there!! Geez! Wish it was longerrr... and had more time to just relax at the beautiful beach... Oh well! Viva La CoPa !!

* Still recuperating..*

Mesmerized by Chocolate...

2006-07-07T20:18:00.000-07:00

So, after a long hunt for a new mobile phone... seeing that I've still not had the luxury of seeing colors on my mobile, or the joy of hearing polyphonic /mp3 ringtones or snapping irritating candid photos of people using the mobile (considering I'm such a photo freak), I finally found it.

Mesmerized by its sleek, slim and sexy black coat with a shiny silver square, lighting up only when you slide it.. the red glowy touchpads come to live, along with the screen, illuminating with a matching red wallpaper. Not to mention, the sound effects that come with it, the soft tingle as you slide it up and down. If you don't know already, I'm talking about the LG Chocolate phone. I swear it is targeted at women like me, fully mesmerized by its aesthetics, not thinking too much about functionality.

However, I must say that for such a small & slim gadget with the innovative touchpad, it does have quite a full pack of functions that come with it - mp3 player, camera, video camera, my much loved organizer (yes, with multiple alarms... those who know me, know that this is an absolute must), Net browsing, bluetooth etc. Not like I use most of these functions anyway.

The whole phone is made to charm & mesmerize, all carefully thought of by the designers I presume, so that anyone who uses it, will forget about some of its shortcomings. No memory card slot? But it slides beautifully! 1.3 megapixel camera? What do you expect.. it's so slim & sexy, you forget... oh at least, there's flash! Haha... Definitely not a phone for the techie! And I do know some techie guys who also fell hopelessly in love with it.

Well, being the guinea pig of this new gadget, for those who are thinking of getting the phone, there are of course, as with all phones, a few shortcomings which annoy me. The USB slot to charge ur phone / plug in USB port / headset is covered by a flimsy little plastic thingy which is very hard not to break. Well the designers had to think of a way to make everything slim & concealed, so there you go. The touchpad is a wee bit sensitive & takes some time to get used to but once u do, it's a beautttyyy.... and yes, there's so much the phone can offer, but may not have enough memory in the long term! ;)

Nevertheless... I love my Chocolate. Yummm...

Pictures from GSMArena

Meshed

2006-06-06T08:43:00.000-07:00

En considérant par des images, peuplez mettent les images qu'elles veulent juste que d'autres voient. Le puits le plus certainement là ne sont aucune image quand vous êtes dans vos plus mauvaises périodes, seulement les temps heureux. Qu'est-ce ce clic de personnes de marques ? Pourquoi est-il que quelques choses se produisent et certains pas ? Comment pourrait peuple soit si mauvais parfois... Comment pourrait I également être en tant que tels. Mes rêves ne seront pas pas de ce que je veux que soient elles.

When I grow up..

2006-05-31T09:09:00.000-07:00

My fave nephew was here last week... the most adorable little boy I know. Anyway, being a child, as usual.. one of the things he likes to say is "When I grow up, I want to be a doctor / pilot".

It got me thinking, how come children never say "When I grow up, I wanna be a consultant / auditor / systems analyst / CEO etc" ... it's always doctor / teacher / pilot. So my theory is that most of the professions that children come in close contact with are doctors (when they are ill or in fact, when given birth to).. and teachers (also first people to educate them on stuff, very influential) or pilots (playing with toy planes perhaps?).

Reality is... how many of us really grow up to be what we wanted to be? My ambitions were paediatrician, teacher, painter (at one point) or writer. Do I truly want to be that? Will I still want to achieve those? Would I be happier in those professions? Hmmm... Or do we choose our professions mainly based on... market demands, stability of income, peer pressure?

People tell me that the grass is always greener on the other side. Very true. But will we ever know.. if this is indeed true, then the grass is just GREEN - not greener. It is generically the same. Is there anyone who truly wakes up every morning, loving their job? I mean, truly. Not because they don't have to work coz they are rich or they are doing what they like because they can afford to. How do you prod along, telling yourself each day... that this is what you are born to do? Or is it? Would you ever know? Hmmm.. and is it an option? What if the grass is really just GREEN?

Sarcasm.. to the max!

2006-05-10T06:51:00.000-07:00

Sarcasm has reached new heights at my workplace!! And I'm loving every bit of it!! Haha... I'm afraid that thanks to my lead who is super-sarcastic, we are infiltrating all the younger minds to our roots of sarcasm. My new colleague has even taken up the idea of having a little word document on the shared folder so that we can pen down the classics... yea, ok we are all stressed & a little crazy so need a little stress reliever. Whatever helps.. right? ;) Here's a little glimpse of our golden collection:

...Question: "Why talk about an ideal world when there's no such thing in the first place??", Reply: "Well, coz once you're in it, it'd no longer be ideal."

...Colleague A: "I've watched half of the new season of 24! You want to know who died???" *grins*, Reply: "No & it better not be you."

..."Boss, I've lost my way" (while trying to get from point A in KL to client's place nearby). First response: "You're still in KL, right?"

.. While munching on an apple, Mr X said to me "An apple a day keeps the doctor away". I glanced at him and said, "An apple a day keeps you away"... ok, I'm evil.

..."Hey, today colleague B had lunch with us" (Colleague B is always on a diet)... Response: "Yea, and that's lunch for the whole of this week right?"

Sarcasm rocks.. makes work feel like a live Seinfeld episode!! *sniggers*

See?? He's loving it!! What a cutie-pie!!

Snippet No. 1

2006-05-06T01:16:00.000-07:00

So I always wanted to write a book. Or I could write a book about all the books I wanted to write about. Anyway, I thought of putting a little "snippet" (it just sounds nice) of an imaginary book that I could potentially write called "So, you think you're weird?" ... haha.. See how far this will go.

Snippet #1

There are just some things that only happens to me (or people like me). Yesterday was one of those days... again. Was rushing back from lunch to the office, realized how late I was and called up my boss and said, "Boss, I'm running late, I've got issues".. he sniggered & said, "What's new?". Yea, I know... it's true, I always have the weirdest things happen to me at the oddest times. Hmmm..

Anyway yesterday's little drama was ok compared to other dramas I've had. Was walking around the office with a football, waiting for some important person but he was late.. anyway long story, I never got what I wanted to do done *period*. But I was late late late to go back to the client site... and of all times, I didn't have small change to pay for parking. So I went to get some mint and paid with a large note hoping to break it up but they ran out of change too & started giving me all the RM1 that they could find. Argh!! The lady spent 10 minutes counting & asked me to recount the large stack of Rm1, Rm5 etc.

Then I queued up to pay for the parking.. and when it was nearly my turn next, the machine stopped working!! It stopped accepting dollar notes, coins only.. yea, after I queued up for like another 5mins.. I had to change queue & waited another 5 mins. Got to the car, thanks to the stupid signs in KL... went round & round the carpark looking for the exit... every time you turn, you see the exit sign with an arrow asking you to turn right.... it was so frustrating.

Well, finally got OUT of the damn carpark, and got caught in a traffic jam. Yea, another like 20mins in the car... and yeap, was so so so late to work it wasn't funny, but anyway it's a Friday so ... yea, whatever. :)

Just one of those days. Nothing compared to how I drove up some spiral carpark in the opposite direction by accident as I couldn't find the exit, or how a little kitten had to try and get through the gate while I was opening it & reversing my car ... aaack, so freaky... kitten stuck between the auto gate & the wall screeching away.. horrid, horrid experience. Anyway, kitten was safe. Phew...

Escapism

2006-04-30T09:25:00.000-07:00

Escapism is awesome. Why can't I embrace escapism? Must I conform to the realities of the world and what society expects of me?

The escapism side of me speaks once again. It tries to pull me to its side, I mean, it's the alternate route to the issues, it's the beautiful road ahead when everything's gloomy, it's the sunflowers in the fields amidst the dead lilies you see, it's the rainbow after the heavy storms... so why run away from it?

No one is really always cheerful and happy. That's just a facade or the majority of the time what the person chooses to show to the world. No one likes moody, grumpy folks. Yea, my escapism... aaah, perhaps one day, yes one day, I will be able to live it... and not just dream about it. Yes, I'm sure there's an exit somewhere, I just have to find it.

Thoughts, enclosed..

2006-04-19T06:52:00.000-07:00

Everyone deserves to be happy and given the best in life, but not all obtain it..
Never let someone in, knowing that you will lose them..
Make time for the people and things you love, else there'd be no time to reclaim them...
Parting is always painful, no matter how you tell yourself it won't be..
People move away, move on, and you just have to get used to it till you are immune to them...
Each person, no matter how good or how evil, will always leave prints on your heart...
How do you not let work affect your health & emotions when you spend three quarters of your day at work...
There are always people who keep their feelings & emotions so close to themselves that you can never guess their predicaments...

Even pets have feelings & deserve the best.. I'm sorry that I've not been a good owner, I should've made more time but you still remain loyal & happy to see me each time... It was never my idea or intention to let you down or come & stay here. I hope you'd be happier in someone else's hands.

Annual Dinner & Dance 06

2006-04-15T02:32:00.000-07:00

My pixxies from the AD&D nite, my first one since I joined the firm. :) I was one of the fashion police (still unsure of who nominated me), catching anyone who wasn't dressed in theme, pretty fun role... though I wish I didn't have to make the props that I suggested ;) All in all, great fun, great company & a night to remember... yes, what an overdue blog entry!

My little Johari window

2006-04-13T07:16:00.000-07:00

Arena

(known to self and others)

caring, cheerful, intelligent, organised, patient

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

able, adaptable, bold, clever, complex, confident, dependable, energetic, extroverted, friendly, giving, happy, helpful, idealistic, kind, loving, modest, reflective, religious, searching, self-assertive, self-conscious, sentimental, shy, silly, spontaneous, trustworthy, warm, witty

Façade

(known only to self)

Unknown

(known to nobody)

accepting, brave, calm, dignified, independent, ingenious, introverted, knowledgeable, logical, mature, nervous, observant, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, responsive, sensible, sympathetic, tense, wise

Dominant Traits

66% of people think that emeryz is friendly

All Percentages

able (5%) accepting (0%) adaptable (5%) bold (5%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (22%) cheerful (44%) clever (22%) complex (5%) confident (5%) dependable (5%) dignified (0%) energetic (33%) extroverted (11%) friendly (66%) giving (5%) happy (27%) helpful (5%) idealistic (5%) independent (0%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (33%) introverted (0%) kind (5%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (0%) loving (16%) mature (0%) modest (11%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (33%) patient (27%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (11%) relaxed (0%) religious (11%) responsive (0%) searching (11%) self-assertive (5%) self-conscious (11%) sensible (0%) sentimental (5%) shy (5%) silly (44%) spontaneous (16%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (11%) warm (22%) wise (0%) witty (16%)

Well, apparently I am friendly, silly & energetic! Very eye-opening indeed to see what others see you, compared to what you see yourself. I have to say though, that I do portray what I want to portray to others but only those who are close to me, will truly know the complete person that I am :) Thanks for your input guys!! ;) It's funny.

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 13.4.2006, using data from 18 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window

Of disappointments and hope?

2006-04-11T07:25:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've had interesting conversations on the topics above. The first was about disappointment. A good friend of mine told me that we should expect everyone to disappoint us. We had a long debate over MSN on that. The disagreement started when I said that I put a lot of trust on my family and it's not realistic to say that they won't disappoint me, but I emphasized that I would give my family members the benefit of doubt. If family cannot be depended upon, then who can?

Of course, everyone being human will disappoint us, and so will we disappoint them. This has also to do with expectations we set on others, which in turn determines the level of disappointment. I mean, from young, if we expected our parents to show up at a play that we are acting in, and they didn't, we get disappointed. However, I disagreed with the fact that we should expect everyone we meet to disappoint us straightaway and just be prepared for that. I think it's quite sad to do so, because then, everything looks gloomy & cynical. Yes, people do and will disappoint us, but must we live each day, expecting for that to happen?

Another interesting article was sent to me by another close friend, about hope. Hope, he mentions, is actually evil. Again, I see how that can be argued, which once again is linked to disappointment... when we hope for something, and it doesn't happen, we get disappointed. However, again, I beg to differ that hope is evil, because I was at a phase in my life where the only thing I had to cling on to was hope. When there was nothing else left, without hope, I would have lost it all. Though it may seem like some unrealistic optimism, but to me, having hope is better than not. Because not all hopes and expectations disappoint us, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

And I rather focus on the light, and fight off the darkness that distract me along the way. After all, life is about living, so I try to make the best out of each short day. After all, everything is subjective & depends on how we overcome it - be it good things or bad things. It's amazing how we can program our minds to be able to make it through adversity. We, the human race, are indeed stronger than we think.

Washing of Feet

2006-03-19T01:59:00.000-08:00

"I guess we all learn that as we live this life, it's just the people that have touched you or whom you've touched that makes all the difference in the world, doesn't it? Nothing else really matters in the end."

Somehow those words came upon me last Friday morning when I was writing an email, and it was definitely blog material. If one asks, what is my dream? I would say, to touch as many lives and hearts as possible before I leave this earth. Because in the end, nothing else really matters - people remember you for what you did for them, not what you owned. People remember the person that you are. It definitely are the little things that matter. :)

On another note, my weekend alone at home was pretty good. Was fortunate to have 2 'bodyguards'..haha, my colleagues who accompanied me on Saturday - even to buy makeup (guys, told ya u can't help me out in that area!! :P)... thanks heaps anyway Seow & Jon!! :) Also had a girly night watching DVDs.. a great change from going out all the time ;)

And because it is so important to touch people's lives, even those who had hurt you in the past.. an important lesson learnt is to let it go, be humble & forgive. Pride would only swallow us whole, and what greater example is given than Jesus washing his disciples' feet:

"After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him." John 13:5

"Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16 I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them." John 13:14

Worst for the best

2006-03-11T23:15:00.000-08:00

The worst thing that you thought to happen to you could also be the best thing that has ever happened to you.

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on us and helping us to learn and grow. From what I've experienced so far, in retrospect, I find that sometimes the worst thing you thought that happened to you do turn out for the best. It also gave me more character, helped me to develop in areas that I needed to be pushed to learn and basically, was necessary to help me be a better person. So whatever challenges I face, I've to constantly remind myself to focus on the outcome. :)

Looking back, I wondered how I mustered the confidence and courage to do so much lately - taking on new responsibilities, challenges and even my personality test revealed some surprising results about my character. Hmm.. definitely not the same person I was 5 years ago. Without my major surgery, I would have never learnt to be bolder and appreciate life for all that it is. Without my previous supervisor resigning & pushing me & believing in my abilities, I would never have grown in my job or have confidence to lead and get an award for it. Without my failures, I would have never learnt of who I am capable of being & what I am capable of doing. Without changes in life, I would have become complacent. Without turbulence in friendships & relationships, I would have never learnt to appreciate it for what it's worth.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Genesis 50:20

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3

And I also learnt that there's nothing more satisfying than chocolate cake ;) Live life to the fullest, guys!

Vous vivez, vous apprenez

2006-03-01T06:38:00.000-08:00

Toutes les bonnes choses se terminent. Il des marques justes nous se rendent compte que c'était en effet une bonne chose. J'apprends à passer assez rapidement de nos jours et à s'obtenir de nouveau à la réalité. Il est bon de rêver et avoir l'amusement mais on doit savoir quand se réveiller encore. Nous ne pouvons pas éviter les vraies issues pour toujours. Rien n'est jamais inoffensif. Amusement mais nocif ? Dans tout il y a quelque chose apprendre et rien, si bon ou mauvais, ne se produit pour aucune raison. Apprenez, mouvement dessus et soyez meilleur. Je survivrai! :)

Trainee. Tour guide. Tourist. Professional. Consultant. Participant. Team Lead. Event Manager.

2006-02-24T22:32:00.000-08:00

The past 2 weeks were almost surreal for me! Checking in to the Sheraton, free meals, free accomodation, meeting 75 new people from all over Asia Pac, working in teams from 8am-7pm every day, partying from 8pm onwards and going back to class looking 'fresh' - that sums it up for my core training at my firm. One word - awesome!!

Initially I was so worried, being the one out of 2 participants from Malaysia ... will I find people to click with? Furthermore, the other participant doesn't really hang out with the others after class, leaving me to be the tour guide etc. Things always work out better when you least expect it!!

I ended up hanging out with a whole group of Australians, who often tell me how unMalaysian I am. :P Ok, just cause I didn't know my way around, but I'm still very Malaysian. They taught me so much about everything - to be yourself, to not care about what others think and to be a unique individual. To quote one of them, "Don't be shy, be Australian" :P Thanks so much for the friendship and company!!

The one core thing about my firm is that everyone's really good at working hard and playing hard, the world over! The Singaporeans, Japanese, Indonesians, Chinese etc... you name it. We went to Cynna, Passion, Beach Club, Zouk, shopping at Bukit Bintang (or 'bucket bentang' as the Aussies pronounced it), more shopping at 1 Utama and Central Market, Petaling Street, eating at Jalan Alor, more partying at Passion, visiting the office at Twin Towers, yummy dinners (free!), Luna Bar, and an all-nighter Zouk and mamak session later. No wonder I am sick now!

I also learnt that it is hard to be a tourist in KL. Everyone tries to rip you off - especially cab drivers. End up haggling on prices, finding cabbies that use the meters, being a bitch sometimes to get my way, using all the Cantonese I can master to get bargains for my foreign friends, pulling all my help when it comes to directions (yes, a local getting 11 foreigners lost). In the end, they brought me around KL! :) All in all, I had heaps of FUN - it must've been the highlight of my career so far. I learnt heaps, of course, training materials too :P and had a good chat with one of the trainers on career development.... learnt of my personality type and definitely how to handle myself and clients better.

What more could I ask for? However, the hardest part is yet to come - getting back to reality!! All good things do come to an end. I'm gonna miss all of you so much... Jenny, Ozona, Linda, Mo, Paul, Marius, Pete, Dave, Luke, Al, Leon, Anthony, Ivan, Jamein, Yanxi, Anand, Anggie, Diane etc etc etc.

"Dream as if you will live forever; live as if you will die tomorrow"

Adios my friends. Hopefully one day, our paths will cross again!! :)

Growing old(er)..

2006-02-07T06:24:00.000-08:00

Hanging out with my cousins over CNY have made me realized how much we've grown. We were reminiscing on the days where we got caught watching a 18SG movie (which was at least 8 years ago), and having my baby cousin Zi (she's already 19 now) telling me things she recalled from her childhood which I don't even remember. Well, most were some memories of how we bullied her. I asked her to name one good thing she recalled and after some time, she said "You cooked Maggi mee for me". Phew, I knew I wasn't all that mean :P

Now I know how it is when my siblings or parents look at me and still think I'm so young, when I am not. That's how it is when I see my younger cousins that I grew up with. They are like younger siblings to me (having none myself). I love to spoil them for movies or meals, coz I never get that chance since my elder siblings always pay for everything. ;)

And when I read their blogs, I realized how much they have grown. How they have gone through hard times, been through the usual ups and downs as a teenager now approaching adulthood and it's awesome. It's awesome that most of them have graduated / graduating / doing well in college. It's awesome to watch them grow and be someone. Yea, I sound old because I am.

Because time goes by so quickly, we gotta make the most of everyday, because you don't want to be looking back and go, "I should have done this or that". Just do it. Regrets are relative, I mean, at that point in time, you would think that was the best thing to do, which is why you did it, and now looking back, you regret. Yet, everything is a learning process, so perhaps you were meant to go through it in the first place and thus, there shouldn't be regrets. Gosh, my slacking mind is causing me to over-analyze things again. I better not write anymore.

Random thoughts since my last blog

2006-01-31T04:18:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since my last blog, so I've decided to write random thoughts & happenings since the year 2006 began.

I went to Melbourne and back - almost surreal that I was actually there. Everything's still the same except that the number of familiar faces can be counted with both hands - in other words, the people I knew have all left. Had a blast shopping, that was what I missed most. My favourite shops - Cue and Satch still do not disappoint, in addition to the clearance sales which really made my week & burnt a large hole in my pocket. I have realized one thing - I have no self control when it comes to shopping. Was also hooked to those long beaded necklaces and big shades *ahem* thanks to my shopping buddies. :P Came back looking weird (like from another world) but who cares? I've also discovered that I have a weakness for bags (bought 5 in a week).

It was horrible trying to get back to work after a week of doing nothing & whatever I wanted. Anyway, it was all good .. I started my new role at work - new boss, new team, new tasks. A good start to the new year. I used to complain when I was too free, but now I treasure it as I know how busy and stressful it can get.

This blog is gonna be so random. I also realized that not many colleagues can be promoted to 'friends' but am glad I do have quite a number. And there are just some people who prefer to spend their days being unhappy for no good reason. It amazes me - doesn't it get tiring to be unhappy all the time? There are also some who try too hard to make conversation, argh. How do you balance between being accomodating or being rude when situations like these arise?

Chinese New Year has also come by. So quick! Gong Xi Fa Cai to everyone! :) This year is real quiet, only one family from Singapore came down, my eldest sis couldn't come back. Doesn't feel like CNY, I had to force myself to put up the usual decors around the house to bring up the spirit. Nevertheless, always good to catch up with family & relatives, especially cousins. Festive seasons can be the most joyest and also, saddest times for those who do not have family to celebrate with. I'm so fortunate to only miss one CNY away from home. :)

Other random thoughts. Another year, means another year older! Ack!! Was just thinking how my parents already had kids at my age (OMG!) and most of us cannot even take care of ourselves! Most of us are way too pampered at home, being the 3rd generation who hardly tasted any hardship and thus, less 'grown up' than we should be. Most of the guys are still scouting around for 'hot chicks' whereas most girls at this juncture are turned off by the immaturity. Unless there's a Mr Darcy lurking around, haha.

More random thoughts. Always take time to know someone if you can. There's so much behind their experiences that one could learn from, and it really explains how they become who they are. The happiest and most optimistic people I know so far are those who have gone through hell and back - ironically. Those who know what it's like to lose all until they do not have any time or anything else to lose than to be happy with life. On the downside, those who seemingly have a 'good' life are those who complain, whinge and whine about any little eensy weensy thing under the sun and are the most selfish individuals that I know. Sulking when they do not get what they want, and hurting others in the process... not noticing that there is so much more to life. Stop and smell the roses, and let the sunrise or sunset remind us of the beauty that surrounds us.

Ok this is really so random, it's not funny. I'd stop here. Happy CNY!!!

Goodbye 2005! Hello 2006 :)

2005-12-31T23:18:00.000-08:00

Yet another year has gone by. It's the time of the year for New Year's Resolutions and to reflect back at what one has accomplished in the past 12 months. A time to reflect on the highs and the lows, and the lessons learnt. 2005 for me, has been a year where strength, courage, determination and freedom have never been more real. It definitely is a significant year - coming back home, my first job, first paycheck, new friends, new beginnings.. it was a blast!

Highlights of my year:

- Going places: Bangkok, Pangkor, Singapore, Redang, Damai Laut, Korea, Camerons ... all packed with excessive fun, shopping sprees, sun, sand & sea... thanks to my best-est travelling buddies

- Work-wise: Met a bunch of fun, crazy new colleagues who allow me to be myself :) , stationed in a project with equally fun, crazy supervisors who really know how to work & party hard. Won best new hires performance despite 2 weeks notice, 2 practices & having to 'lead' the team that I've not met. Having to take lead of clients after my boss' resignation (stressful stressful times) but was surprised with an award... (which includes retail therapy... ;)

- Going back to church: Although it was a tough journey, I've 'run' back to God, the One who matters, and is probably the sole reason this year was a blast! Would not have managed to pull through all the struggles if not for Him. Also the source of my joy, strength and purpose in life. Also, miraculously found a cell group that is so, so warm, caring & genuine (after a long search) - it always touches me how people who hardly know you can be genuinely so nice and helpful & be there for you when everything crumbles. Love you guys heaps!

- Family & friends: Being back with family and friends - the 2 most important factors to anyone's lives. One cannot deceive oneself too much, it's usually the people around you that matter most and make the difference - the pursuit of material things and career sometimes blind us but we should never lose sight of what's truly important to us.

- Fitness: Joining the gym - the one thing that anyone who knows me well enough will find shocking. Yes, I've not exercised like my whole life, so after being persuaded to join the gym by my colleague, little did I know that I could actually increase my stamina and feel good after exercising! From being a person who can't do 20 minutes of stationary cycling (level zero) without panting, to going an hour in the gym with treadmills, cross-trainers & aerobic classes... and actually enjoying it! Anything is possible! ;)

- Rediscovering myself: Being stuck in a rut for the past 2 years & living to others' expectations of me, I think my biggest accomplishment this year is to have gotten out of that hole that I've dug for myself. I've never felt so liberated, and so confident to just be me, and to be accepted for who I am, not to be judged by my outer appearances. I've come out more determined, confident and happier in ways I've never thought possible. Once again, all glory to God.

I wanted to write about the 'lows' of the year, but I realized that it was because of the 'lows' that shaped my year to be such a great one. Life is never easy, but it's what we make of it & how we approach situations that determine your happiness.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Happy New Year 2006! It' s time for me to write my New Year's resolutions once again. Thanks heaps to my crazy friends and colleagues who made my New Year's Eve celebration such a blast last night! :)

Of turkeys, Christmas trees & bubbly

2005-12-31T23:08:00.000-08:00

Our family's first homely Christmas dinner, complete with a 6 kg turkey, bubbly, Christmas tree with lovely ribbons, lighting, ornaments... gift exchanges & jazzy Christmas music in the background with candles all round. Thanks to my amazing sister & bro in law :) Love you all heaps!

My Christmas pix... :)

2005-12-25T08:37:00.000-08:00

Merry Merry Christmas & a Happy Happy New Year!!!

2005-12-24T23:58:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone & a blessed New Year!! :)

I just loveee Christmas - it just gives the feeling of love, joy, peace & happiness ;)

It's the time to cherish & spend with family and friends, time of giving and caring and to think of those who are less fortunate and bring Christmas cheer.

Most importantly, for me, personally, it's a time of remembrance of Christ's birth - the reason for the celebration & a reminder of the HOPE that He gives!

"Hark the herald angels sing, glory to the newborn King! Peace on earth & mercy mild, God and heavens reconcile..." lalalala...

"Most Unintentional Joker"?

2005-12-20T04:14:00.000-08:00

Last Friday was a significant day for me - it marks the one year since I've graduated (can't believe it!) and probably 7 years since I found God. It was also a significant day as my cell group has multiplied into 2 groups. So, there was a little 'awards' session that the lovely leaders have creatively put up... our group was called Living Springs, and look how much effort and detail my leaders put into thinking up a meaningful award for each of us. A homemade bottled water with personalized label (it had my name on it which I've removed in the pic) ;P .... and mine was "Most Unintentional Joker". Apparently, sometimes I don't intend some things I say to be a joke but it just comes out funny - hmmm... :) Thanks!!! It was a really lovely night!!! :)

If an enemy had reviled me...

2005-12-13T05:41:00.000-08:00

"If an enemy had reviled me, that I could bear; If my foe had viewed me with contempt, from that I could hide. But it was you, my other self, my comrade and friend, You, whose company I enjoyed, at whose side I walked in procession in the house of God." Psalms 55:13-15

Came across this line in the book "The 9 to 5 Window" by Os Hillman. Somehow it gave me some "blogspiration" - so I decided to blog about it. I think the psalmist was reflecting on something really personal, stating that if an enemy was to betray him - he can accept that, but not a close friend. Can you imagine? Someone very dear to you, someone that you trust deeply and confided in, betraying you? How does that feel?

Cheated. Broken. Hurt.

That's how it feels. Sometimes it takes months or even years to regain the trust (if there's any left) and rekindle the relationship (if it still remains). Trust is a very fragile thing - it's like if you shatter a glass and try to mend it, it could be done but the cracks are always visible, always there.

And yet, the bible says to 'love your enemies'. I think that's one verse that is very difficult to live by. It states that everyone can love the people who are dear to them because that's easy to do, but how different are you if you do not love your enemies. The only way to do that is to rely on God for that extraordinary strength, to swallow your pride and remind yourself of God's grace. If He could forgive you and love you despite all the crap that you have done, who are you not to forgive and love those who have hurt you?

All glory to God!

2005-12-05T05:37:00.000-08:00

Wow, I'm so surprised! Right when I feel so tired and bogged down by everything around me, especially with work, at the end of my Monday and I got an award from my senior for my work!

All I can say is 'Praise God & all glory be unto Him' !!

It's a good feeling, a real morale booster to know that I'm on the right track. And especially when I need it most, working on a tight schedule and under pressure these days. :) Thank you God for carrying me through even when things are rough, when my heart is heavy & thank you for blessing me with a wonderful supportive family and so many close, sincere friends (both old and new), who are there for me throughout it all..

"Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28)

"Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you" (Psalm 55:22)

And the verse that I put on my desktop every day to remind me:

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." (Colossians 3:23 & 24)

So if you are reading this and feeling bogged down with work, just know that there's Someone up there who can carry you through and bless you beyond what you can imagine. Of course there are some sacrifices I've made to put myself right with Him, but it's all worth it. Nothing comes close to the power of God...

Pretense

2005-11-25T20:43:00.000-08:00

How could people live in such pretense? And how could I have been so blind to it?
But I guess some people do live in pretense, but are so used to it, that it is reality to them. The pretense of having it all, the outward projection to others that one is doing well, having the latest of everything, and being branded from head to toe. Embalmed in Gucci, Prada and LV, I can never understand. The need to look your best at all times, never showing your weaker self, as it is a sign of vulnerability. Yes, we do all live in a world of pretense. I could never stand being in that world - the false cheap compliments, the fake smiles, chats on high society, on haves and have-nots...

I treasure those who dare to show their true selves, who are not trapped by the need to possess material things to show their worth. Those who confess that they have weaknesses, those who give you real compliments and tell you the truth even when it hurts, those who have a heart for others, not so engrossed in themselves and making themselves look good. There are so many others out there, who have a need, to love or be loved, whose needs far exceed that of owning the latest gadgets. Do we want to leave this earth and consume as much as we can possibly get our hands off, never once... making a difference even in another's lives?

It's always easier said than done. As after all, when we step out, we step into that world of pretense. But, it is possible. Why buy things you don't need to impress people you don't like? How could I have been so blind?

Treasure your girl-friends

2005-11-23T05:28:00.000-08:00

One of the more meaningful forwarded emails that I've gotten from one of my closest friends..... and oh how true it is.. for so many times in my life where my girl-friends have been there for me :) Thank you for being honest with me even when I don't want to hear it, thank you for being there at any time of the night whether it's 3am or 5am, thank you for taking such good care of me and being concerned all the time. You know who you all are :)

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After 52 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned to her daughter in a clear, sober voice.

"Don't forget your girlfriends," she advised, swirling the tea-leaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you'll have, you are still going to need girlfriends. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.And remember that 'girlfriends' are not only your friends - but your sisters, your daughters, your daughter-in-laws and other female relatives too.You'll need other women. Women always do."

"What a funny piece of advice," the young woman thought. "Didn't I just get married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake, a grown-up, not a young girl who needs girlfriends! Surely my husband and the family we'll start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!"But she listened to her mother; she kept contact with her girlfriends and befriended more each year.

As the years rolled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her mum really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, girlfriends are the main stays of her Life."

After 52 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:

Time passes
Life happens
Distance separates
Children grow up
Love waxes and wanes
Hearts break
Careers end
Jobs come and go
Parents die
Colleagues forget favours
Men don't call when they say they will

BUT girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never further away than needing her can reach.When you have to walk that lonesome valley - and you have to walk it for yourself - your girlfriends will be on the valley's edge, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out.The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would we.

When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.

Perfectionist I am...

2005-11-21T06:12:00.000-08:00

It's in my blood. I am a perfectionist in rehab.... as these are my first few months of work, and yet I still carry the 'perfectionism' into my work. I thought that I'd put it away after Uni. Today is a great day for me. I had my first performance evaluation from my supervisor and I'm really happy with it. All the hard work, struggles and challenges for the past few months suddenly feel... worth it. A real sense of accomplishment.

Yet, as I look back, not only for these few months but throughout my life in all aspects, when I am in the process of doing my work, I never feel good enough. I always feel that I should be doing a better job, I should improve on this and that, I need to strive harder. And I always feel surprised when someone else tells me that I'm doing a good job, because to me, what I am doing is never good enough. Don't know if this makes sense but it's true about how I feel. I remember my best friend telling me, "I'm not gonna believe you anymore, because everytime you say you did badly in an exam, your results do not show it." In all honesty, I really meant what I said that I didn't feel that I did well at all... that I totally screwed up.

And that's what I've been feeling for the past few months at work - I'm not good enough for the role. I should be doing this and that. I am not meeting the expectations set for me. Basically, I always carry a big burden on my shoulders, perhaps it's time to learn some of the burden go and be more lenient towards myself :) But.. what if, it's in my blood? And I can't seem to get it out of my system.

Nevertheless, I feel relieved today. I feel a sense of ... achievement. Praise God! Who am I without Him?

Divine Love

2005-11-14T05:34:00.000-08:00

What do you say to a love that is so pure and perfect? How do you even begin to describe it? Despite what you have done and how much you have grieved another's heart, and still... you are forgiven. Everything's forgotten, you are washed clean. What about a love that believes in you, still trusts despite your many broken promises, still perseveres despite your stubbornness, still there when hope is gone? A love that makes you feel so secure, because despite how you look, how you feel inside, you are always... accepted, just the way you are. As imperfect as you can be, yet loved for every flaw. What kind of love is this? It's agape, simply agape.

Before the world began,
You were on His mind,
and every tear you cried,
was precious in His eyes,
Because of His great love,
He gave His only Son,
Everything was done,
So you would come.

Nothing you can do,
Could make Him love you more,
Nothing that you've done,
Could make Him close the door,
The power of the word,
The power of His blood,
Everything was done,
So you would come.

Come to the Father,
Though your gift is small,
Broken hearts, broken lives,
He will take them all,
The power of the word,
The power of His blood,
Everything was done,
So you would come.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8: 38-39

Depth...

2005-11-09T05:10:00.000-08:00

I realized that there are not many people out there in this world that you can connect with at a 'deep' level. Coming back home, I realized most Malaysians are not very interested in each other's lives. U have that usual 5 minutes conversation to get some brief background of someone you just met just for the heck of courtesy. Not many out there are really interested to know you. I am guilty of that as well. I've got my moods, and if I don't click with someone in the first 5 minutes, I really can't be bothered.

Having said that, I really treasure those that I can relate to at a deeper level. Not just talking bout the latest fashion, trips, movies, food and what nots but really talking bout life and such. I always need an outlet for my many thoughts. And thanks to my weekly email therapy, I've been able to achieve that. Thank u!! :) U know who you are. Thanks for being a witness to my life, analyzing it from a whole different perspective and understanding what I'm actually saying. It really means a lot. I guess not many people can relate to that side of me. And yes, I've always wanted to be a writer. ;)

Oh no... not again!

2005-11-07T06:45:00.000-08:00

I'm back home, after a long day at work where my mind was still at Seoul .... but my car is not home!

No, it didn't break down. I was stuck in the parking lot because my season parking pass wouldn't let me out. Ok, guilty. I haven't paid for my parking fees... but come on, I could get in this morning. Usually if you don't pay, you can't even get in!

Ironically, after lunch today, one of my colleagues was asking me if he could borrow some money. I was short on cash today and I asked him why. He said he hasn't paid for parking.. and it occurred to me, hey me too! Thinking that I managed to get in today, it should be fine... I'd just pay tomorrow.

Oh, how much did I regret doing that when I saw that the parking pole wouldn't budge as I desperately try to beep myself out!! There was this guard there who was trying to help me, and I told him to please let me out... "I'd pay tomorrow I promise". He said that the other guards are not around anymore and the parking lady is not there to collect the fees so he can't do anything. I might as well leave my car there tonight and figure out a way to go home.

I told him I could get my collaegue to beep out and if I drive REALLY close to him, perhaps we could get out together. I called my colleague, he said my idea was nuts! "If it was so easy, we all could share one parking ticket and drive real close to each other in a row!" Ok, fine. Anyway, thank God he was nice enough to send me home. And ironically again, the same colleague who reminded me to pay for my parking fee during lunch. Oh how he laughed his head off. I said "These things only happen to me". His response, "It only happens to you coz you are so stubborn!! ;)"

What an awful lesson to learn to pay your parking fees on time! And please, let me be able to locate my car tomorrow and get out of that car park!

Seoul searching: Day 5

2005-11-05T09:48:00.000-08:00

Last day in Seoul. Can't believe a week has gone by. Time flies when you are having fun. Looking extremely stoned due to my lack of sleep the night before, we could not even think properly on what to do today. We asked to break from the tour but since we have fulfilled our retail quota in the wee hours of dawn and feeling extremely broke... we decided to stay with the tour.

Went to visit some Kimchi place whereby they let us make our own Kimchi. Kinda... the cabbage was already all washed and soaked and the "preservatives" were all set. We just needed to rub the preservatives on the cabbage. Nevertheless, great fun coz we have been eating kimchi for breakfast, lunch and dinner so it made sense to learn to make it. In olden days, Korean women who can't make kimchi would have difficulties getting married! Man, these people do love and take their kimchis seriously!

At the same venue where we have the Kimchi making, we could also wear traditional Korean costumes to take photos. The costumes were pretty... but it made us look real fat. Like 5 months pregnant or something... hahaha.

Thank goodness we stayed with the tour coz we were brought to Sichon, a nice shoppin place. Due to lack of funds, the retail fun died down for us. But the place really reminded me of Melbourne... the little shops along the road with many things to purchase.. something like Brunswick St. Very lovely.

And that was that... we went souvenir shopping at the last minute. Always impulsive as we tried to finish the wons. Had just enough money for lunch at the airport. And off we went home.... back to reality!

It was a great trip!! And even more so, the company I went with! 4 crazy people who are photo freaks, shopaholics and are comfortable being ourselves just made the trip so much more memorable as we created our own fun in every situation (even the fact we could not understand fully what the tour guide was saying).... and except for that ginseng tour which even photo opportunities could not be thought of *grins* .... all in all, I love you guyz heaps!!!!!

Seoul searching: Day 4

2005-11-05T09:23:00.000-08:00

It's World Cup Stadium visit in the morning today. Again, for many this would just be another tour site but due to our crazy, innovative minds... we came up with many ideas to make it interesting. The music was great.... gives that triumphant spirit to the stadium that is now empty. We recorded a video of ourselves pretending to watch a football match... hahaha... took 2 takes and it was parfait! ;)

We then went to Walker Hill Casino.... not a gambler and nothing compared to Crown casino in Melbourne. I took the opportunity to walk around the shops, engulfed with the many perfumes, well dressed ladies and men & all the luxuries of the world. Yet, I still can never understand the need for such pretense as I see the men and women looking at all the branded items and looking all prim and proper.

Dinner was early and we were served Bibimbap.... simple dish on stone bowl and simply delicious! Chin Ai's dream come true (but we didn't know it at that time that we were eating bibimbap). It was the first time Jes was quiet during mealtime ;) We were then off to Lotte World... another theme park in a shopping complex. Little did we know that the Water world called "Magic Land" or something was so much larger than the complex. Like a world of its own. Went on some amusement rides and such! Loved the thrill!! Woohoo! Congrats also to Jes for overcoming her fear :) So proud of you!!

After 4 hours of crazy rides, we then checked in to Crown Hotel. It was already 10.30pm by the time we got to our rooms. But it was our last night at Seoul. We were planning to break off the tour the next day to do more shopping and just enjoy Seoul. However, the tour guide wasn't too pleased as we didn't speak Korean and even with the tour we were always late, lost and roaming around.

Then, I had an idea. Sitting in our hotel room with a little map of the Subway and Seoul city, and recalling that the Korean colleague stating that Dongdaemun shops open till 5am... I said "Why don't we go now to shop?" and it was a point of no return. Chin Ai, Kit and Jes agreed in unison and off we went to Itaewon station, walking with a single map and with no knowledge of Korean words except for "How are you?", "Thank you", "You are beautiful", "Discount please" and "Expensive"... all which were used for obtaining discounts! :)

With Chin Ai having the best 'sense of directions', she guided us to the station and we successfully changed trains etc without getting lost! Amazing. And wow... the shops are definitely open till 5am. The Koreans shopped like it was only 8pm... when it was already 11.40pm when we arrived. Markets were open, departmental stores, and food stalls were filled with people. And the shopaholics, being shopaholics, went nuts shopping ... till 3.30am! Till our feet were so sore.... from walking, and after trying some local delicacies at the roadside food stalls. Thanks Kit for your patience!! We were contented and broke. Things are not cheap at all! We had to consult each other to ensure we are making only good purchases. And those few Korean words we knew did go far! My best bargain was from 50,000 won to 10,000 won! Woohoo!

Took another hour or so to squeeze everything into my luggage when we got back to the hotel at 4am... slept for an hour and a half that night and off we went to meet the rest of the tour people at 7am. We contemplated exploring more of Seoul but I was already contented.. I voted to stay with the tour.

Seoul searching: Day 3

2005-11-05T09:02:00.000-08:00

Day 3 we were taken to the War Memorial... and I tell you, I never had so much fun at the War memorial thanks to my 3 crazy friends who can think of any sorts of ways to have crazy fun!

We climbed up the tanks, I got an inspiration for doing that "Noooo!!!" in front of a stationary tank (inspired by Austin Powers part 1), laid down flat on the ground in front of another stationary tank, did crazy poses at the monuments! Luckily we didn't get arrested for making a mockery of the War Memorial! :) Ok, I did learn something... I think! :)

After all that, we were brought shopping at Itaewon. It was our first taste of shopping in Korea and boy, were we disappointed at how expensive things were! And it's one of the cheaper places already in Korea... for once, 3 shopaholic ladies came out empty handed after an hour. What a feat! Never in history. :)

After lunch, we went to Gyeongbuk Palace, just one of those "must see" places. Wasn't too impressed with the architecture... was pretty dry I must say. Nevertheless, great photo opportunities again...

At dinner, Jes' colleague from Korean office met up with us... and we went to Top Cloud, a very posh restaurant with a splendid view of Seoul city! It was awesome.... jazz bands, cocktails and such. The toilets had a spectacular view of the city skyline and the tap can only be switched on by placing your feet on these 2 footprints painted on the floor. Took me like 3 minutes to figure that out. Very clever. Breathtaking... classy... loved it! It made me realize how global my company was.... to meet these Korean colleagues who spoke perfect English and knew some of my colleagues back home too! They also took us on a stroll downtown Seoul at night... walked by a place where the road was now converted to a stream, very pretty. Loved the neon lights that illuminate the back alleys, just as I see in movies.

Interestingly, some Japanese tourists stopped us and thought we were Jap. We conversed in all the Jap we knew and said we were Malaysians. They seemed pretty impressed with Malaysians speaking Jap in Korea so they asked for a photo! Very cute. We walked the streets of Seoul, snacking at the roadside stalls, making sarcastic remarks, talking bout our firm and projects.... had an awesome time! A really Seoul-ful experience that night... just as I imagined it.

Seoul searching: Day 2

2005-11-05T08:42:00.000-08:00

We woke up at 5am today to go to Mount Sorak National Park for a cable car ride and a little hike to the peak. It was sooo sooo sooo beautiful, it's indescribable. The tour guide told us to hold our photo taking frenzies (our group was the worst in this sector) but we couldn't resist but to snap a few. I mean, u cannot reverse sunrise, and we are only here ONCE... so it's justified to be rebellious ;)

The view from the cable car was amazing, like a postcard, with 3 shades of gold, red and brown leaves and a little stream with white pebbles. We then went for a little hike to the peak, and the higher we went, the view got better and better. Even my camera could not keep up with my photo snapping that the battery was almost flat by 9am. :) It was all worth it :)

After Mount Sorak, we were off to Everland... something like a Movie/Dream world sorta thing, Korean style. Was a little skeptical at first, because after all, these places are all the same. But I must say these Korean trained animals are awfully intelligent! The sea lions can brake dance to clubbing music, they even train guinea pigs, geese, zebras, monkeys to act like humans etc etc...and I had a thought... does this mean that the animals are Korean? The parrots did speak in Korean... :) So animals can be trained in all languages. ;) We also went on a wild life safari and saw life lions, tigers and cutest of all, many bears standing up begging for food... so adorable. Always wanted to go on a Night Safari so this fulfilled it for me :)

We also amused ourselves later at the souvenir shops with many crazy pictures which had to be censored on this blog so I don't embarrass myself in public! :) Sometimes it's the company and not necesarily the tour that makes my trip "seoul" fun!!! :D

Seoul searching: Day 1

2005-11-05T08:10:00.000-08:00

I just got back from my trip to South Korea for 5 days. It was seriously breathtakingly beautiful! :) And my friends and I had crazy fun! Seriously CRAZY!!

We flew on Korean Air, and once we touched down at Incheon International Airport, we were transferred to Nami Island. This island is famous due to the popular Korean series, Winter Sonata (which I attempted watching before the trip but had to fast-forward). Nevertheless, the golden leaves that illuminate the stretch of poplar trees are simply amazing that you don't need to watch the series to appreciate it. :)

After many many poser shots and feasting on Korean delicacies (mainly potato-made stuff), we were on our way to some other place where they filmed "Autumn in my heart".... got no idea what that movie was about, but nevertheless worth a visit ;)

Stayed at Freya Naksan resort that night... first thing we realized was "Where are the beds???!" and found out that there were actually mattresses and pillows and quilts which were the "Korean" way of sleeping. Hmmm... :) It was actually very warm and comfortable! The funniest bit about the tour was that since the Korean guide only spoke Mandarin, he was telling us about how to stack the mattresses "Thick mattress below, light mattress on top to cover it", and due to my limited Mandarin vocab, I thought he said "We are having Korean BBQ tonite, so make sure you put the thick pan below and cover with a light lid to cook"... Hahahaha...

Mickey Brown Eyes

2005-10-29T03:28:00.000-07:00

Meet Mickey, the new addition to my family. He came last week at 7 weeks old. Isn't he extremely adorable? When he set foot in our house, we knew that he should never leave. .. so he did ... stay.

My dad decided to get the pup, I was pretty surprised. Perhaps since Rocky went away, we kinda miss the nice big dog greeting us every day after a long day's work. Mickey's a Golden Retriever, pure breed. His fur is like a little sheep rug, really soft. He has the cutest face I've ever seen in a dog. And he's pretty obedient too, in his cage. Only whines when I come home and he wants to play. He's very much like a little baby. And like all babies, the 'parents' suddenly go mad and snap like tons of pictures like a paparazzi... as though, we will never capture these moments again. So here are some of my favourite takes...

Do you believe in yourself?

2005-10-18T05:05:00.000-07:00

Someone believes in me... but that does not matter, until I believe in myself. That's what I've learnt over the past few months. I was challenged to do what I thought was not possible & I was stretched to my limits (and still am) . I believed what I needed to do required too much of my weak points, how could I ever deliver on that? I could not even imagine myself in that position.

Lately, I told myself that I had no choice. It was what was envisioned of me, someone believes that I can do it. And if anyone was to blame for not achieving that, it was me. As I was told today 'whether you like it or not, you are going to have to lead, so might as well get used to it".

I read that self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings. How true! As Tuck wrote to me, if you only do what you are good at, then what can you improve on?

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." [2 Corinthians 12:9-10]

All glory to God for being my source of strength, and being there through it all to help me achieve the 'impossible'.

Innocent Steps

2005-10-16T00:13:00.000-07:00

That's the title of this Korean movie I watched yesterday. No, I'm not a fan of Korean movies - I thought of watching one to set the mood for my trip end of the month. I always believe that before you travel somewhere, you should at least read about and learn something about the uniqueness of the country, immerse yourself in the culture, food and livelihood. So, to a small extent, a Korean movie sounded right.

I didn't expect much at all, in fact, I was thinking that it's gonna be another 'soppy love story'. Strangely enough, I actually enjoyed it! The film makes you laugh and cry. It was a love story but not such a naive one as typically, most Korean shows are. It was about dancing - though I don't dance, I love shows that are about dancing. Dance just captivates my heart... the rhythm, the music, the expression and the passion.

http://www.seoulselection.com/screening_dvd_view.html?pid=859

The movie portrayed that with determination, you can achieve your dreams despite major obstacles. Never let anyone undermine your abilities. Money cannot buy love. True love sees beyond the surface - the materialism, the outer appearances, the superficiality. The part that I disliked though was the chauvinistic-ism (if there's such a word) of the Korean culture. No man should ever hit a woman. No woman should ever be made to feel that they are second class. Submission is one thing, respect is another. We are all created equal.

Triumph of the Human Spirit

2005-10-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

I've been touched by kindness. I've always appreciated the goodness of the human heart. The people who have been there for me, to listen and simply be by my side when I needed them most. I'm very fortunate to always meet people with sincere hearts, and touched by their warmth and kindness.

I'd never forget how Mum stayed with me the whole night before my major operation, and with me for the whole few months until I recovered or how Papa always makes sure I get anywhere important on time or go all out to help me get things done when I need them most. I heard somewhere that you will never find anyone who loves you as much as your parents do. Thanks also to all my good friends out there - just received the parcel that Jason sent...thanks heaps, and Chin Ai for listening me out through my trying times at work (to ensure I can go on with the rest of the day), and Jes Min for your awesome friendship & honesty (yes, amoeba it is :P) ... the project will never be the same without you around! And to Nick who has helped me shifted all the time in Melbourne and taken care of me when I was unwell... and countless other people who have passed thru my life and made a difference - big or small.

There is no value you can place on the triumph of the human spirit. My only wish is that I can do the same for all my family and friends out there. Such is my way of restoring the peace and love that is much lacking amidst the violent wars, natural disasters and senseless bombings out there that infiltrate our minds. Let us not forget the little things that make life.... worth living :)

Maybe I am a l'il nuts

2005-10-13T08:25:00.000-07:00

Am having on of my slack days - went back early after a meeting, didn't feel like doing anything except visiting my granny. On days like these, you think of the crazy, fun times and wish you were there to relive the moment again...

Looking back, perhaps I am a little crazy as my friends have been telling me... ahaha.. my recent nutsy experiences:

- Walking into a nice hotel restaurant in pajamas & 2 pink hair clips, due to my own idea of having some theme party at my project trip (which obviously everyone didnt dare to be too 'obvious' in their dressing)... at least I know that they DO let u in wearing pajamas - down with dresscodes!! Thanks to the 3 others who were brave enough to walk in together! ;) - not forgetting one wearing bedsheets!

- Overflowing the jacuzzi after pouring a whole bottle of bath foam and taking crazy pictures... it's awesome!! Feels like you're a 'cappucino'

- Being thrown off the Banana Boat even though I can't swim, and on the same day, thrown in the pool while tipsy (definitely will not do it again ;) *hint* do not throw me in the pool!!

- Walking around Melb city after midnight in pajamas, 2 pigtails and a soft toy after a Theme Party River Cruise (I love theme parties!)

- Having our own party in a little hostel room blasting music like no one's business till we got scolded by my floor counsellor

- Making a spontaneous decision to go to Bangkok and shopped like there's no tomorrow!! And next, is Korea... making a decision under pressure at Matta Fair via a phone call is really really spontaneous - I still can't believe I'm going..

- Staying in a tent for 7 days (yup, self built tent) under negative temperature desert conditions in Central Australia ... awesome experience!! Not to mention taking a bus for 2 days straight ONE way...

- Walked home barefooted from Uni to my apartment coz my shoes were hurting too much

- Driving in the opposite direction up the carpark (not for fun) ... by accident

I love being spontaneous... ;) and yea, doing weird things once in a while just for the heck of it..

Grandma dearest...

2005-10-09T03:14:00.000-07:00

I've just got back from visiting my dearest Grandma at the hospital. This is the 4th time she has been in and out of the hospital this month for gallstones. She's in so much pain till she can't really sleep or eat anything concrete. Due to her diabetes and some liver infection, the doctors are unable to perform the operation as the risks are too high. Some good news finally shed in today. Tomorrow, the doctors will be using some 'endoscope' thingy to remove the gallstones and she would not need to undergo any surgery. Thank God for new technology!

I've been visiting dear Grandma whenever I have the time. It just hurts me to know that I can't do anything to make her feel better and I really hope that my prayers will be answered. I just have to trust God to take care of her.

Mama, as I fondly call her, is such a wonderful lady. She's always cheerful, kind-hearted and generous & funny too! She's so extremely polite too, always apologizing for troubling us - even to the extent that we don't have seats in her hospital room! She always goes all out to help others... at one time, she fell down while trying to bring in the clothes when it was raining without letting us know. During her last birthday, my aunts taught her some English phrases and amazingly at her old age, she could remember and recite the lines "Thank you for coming to my birthday party." Even at her hospital bed, she never fails to say something funny in each visit, though she is in pain. The other night, she teased my dad before we left with her little jokes. She's the nicest & sweetest person ever... and not to mention, single-handedly raised up 10 children by herself after my grandfather's demisal.

Mama, I hope that you will get well soon and feel better. You are always in my prayers. :)

90% people management, 10% actual work

2005-10-04T06:14:00.000-07:00

I just had one of those days at work where my clients just decide to go berserk. Always brings my mood down, the remarks are always the same... drains me out.

It's part and parcel of the job as one of my managers said. He seemed to be all smiley when he saw another junior and myself coming back from 'one of those sessions'. It's all about people management, it's part of the job. It's great though to have such positive energy when you are down. I also escalated another issue to my project manager and he also took it so optimistically and made the whole situation so 'simple'. Perhaps they have been seasoned... I need to learn the art of people management.

Like all jobs, if you look at the core of the job, it's actually very simple... that is if you take out the people factor - in a perfect world, where everyone is cooperative, wants to get the job done well, fast and efficiently and where people actually reach a resolution and agreement after a fruitful discussion. Yea, dream on... nevertheless, I still like my job.

Opinions.. not welcomed ;)

2005-09-27T07:57:00.000-07:00

Lately I've just been so ticked off by people who have way too many opinions on other people's lives.

If you are hitching a ride in my car, you will sit quietly and let me drive as I like. Otherwise, get your own transport. I will also dress as I like, it does not matter what you think. I will put whatever picture I like up, and not display those that I do not like. I will do what I feel is good for me, and I will take care of myself.

Leave my life to me. Run your own.

Sun, sand, sea and cocktails..

2005-09-26T07:02:00.000-07:00

Just got back from Redang Island for my project trip yesterday evening. It was simply.. awesome! Didn't expect to have so much fun with my colleagues, really helps that they are all young and cool, so we click pretty well. Of course, there was the waking up at 4am, making sure everyone's in the boat/van/plane... checking everyone in, giving presentation after the long journey etc. being in the organizing committee.. but the other good stuff was so much more worth remembering!

I went snorkeling.. woohoo! With a life jacket.. a little scary at first but once I got the hang of it without drinking too much salt water, it was simply beautiful. Felt like I was swimming in a huge aquarium. The water was crystal clear, greenish blue, the sort I only dream about. It has to be the most beautiful beach in Malaysia. There was also the theme party that I suggested which though not many of the upper management bothered, the young ones participated which made it fun. Walking around in pajamas into the hotel restaurant definitely was no easy task... we were like "What are you looking at?". At least I know now that you can get in the restaurant in pajamas... no dress code! :)

Then, there was the charades in which my acting was apparently entertainment to the rest. Hmmm.. and there was the crazy synchronized swimming at the sea *go figure*, almost drowning my colleague playing Gladiator in the sea, being sprayed by shaving cream by my boss who was a bit nuts that night... and the craziest of all was nonetheless pouring too much bubble bath into the jacuzzi at the spa.... and oh boy, the foams wouldn't stop and it overflowed!!! The lady at the spa thought that we drowned in the bubbles, but in fact we were at the sauna. The look on her face was so funny I swear! ;)

Aah, so after the trip and the motivational talk... I'm supposed to be more recharged at work. I am, actually... I remembered some of the lessons learnt - think of the big picture, take a step back, be more 'busybody' when it comes to knowing what the other teams are doing.... and I lived my dream - to sit by the beach, sipping cocktails and reading a book. What more could I ask for?

The Story of the Mooncake

2005-09-17T23:13:00.000-07:00

It's Mooncake Festival today! My first time being able to savour mooncakes at non-exorbitant prices in 5 years as I had been doing in Melbourne. :) Mooncakes are aplenty here. I remember those days when each piece of mooncake was so precious and how my mum told me she would keep them for me till I came back from Australia but it was just impossible coz I came back only once a year. ;)

So to rekindle my Chinese roots, here's the story of the mooncake that I got from the lovely mooncake box from Equatorial Hotel:

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The mooncake, a customary gift during the Mid-Autumn Festival, made its first appearance in Chinese history during the Yuan Dynasty.

For almost a century, the people of China had suffered dire times under oppressive Mongol rule. Until the mooncake came to the rescue.

In 1368, in an effort to overthrow the Mongols, the Chinese baked hundreds of little moon shaped cakes during the Moon festival.

However, they contained an altogether different filling from the 'leng yong' or 'tau sar' enjoyed today.

Inside were messages that were secretly circulated among family and friends, inciting them to join an impending rebellion.

Dismissing the innocent looking mooncakes as part of the festivities, the Mongols were taken completely by suprise by a well-planned rebellion. And the infamous Mongol Yuan Dynasty came to a humiliating end.

Every Moon festival since, mooncakes have been exchanged and enjoyed to mark the occasion.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Few thoughts came to my mind - who came up with this idea? Was it anyhow inspired by fortune cookies? I believe it must've been a woman who thought of this - and as a way to try out a new recipe perhaps and aaah, we could double it up as a message spreader. Did anyone choke on the message while eating the mooncakes? ;)

Just me and my inquisitive self and crazy imagination and thoughts.. pictures of my first mooncakes bought coming up... :)

In awe

2005-09-13T05:31:00.000-07:00

I am in awe of God and how real He is. I just got back from a church camp for young adults. Very reluctant at first, but everything was paved for me. I asked for people to go with, He provided 4 new friends who signed up with me within a week, and 2 lovely roommates too. Had heaps of crazy fun & laughter with skits and musicals - these guys have amazing creativity!

I went up for prayer one of the nights and that was when I was in awe of how real God is. I didn't even mention anything to the Pastor, and his wife's words to me was 'There is no condemnation in Christ'... and the 2nd thing the Pastor prayed for was for 'forgiveness', basically to forgive someone. And the verse for the camp was "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!.." Isaiah 43:18-19.

Another thing I read about forgiveness through a random book in the bookshop was in Matthew 18:21-24:

Then Peter approaching asked him, "Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus answered, "I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times. That is why the kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the accounting, a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount. Since he had no way of paying it back, his master ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, his children, and all his property, in payment of the debt.

At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.' Moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan.

When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a much smaller amount. He seized him and started to choke him, demanding, 'Pay back what you owe.' Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
But he refused. Instead, he had him put in prison until he paid back the debt. Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master and reported the whole affair.

His master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?' Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt. So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart."

What a beautiful illustration... and what a change of heart I had after this experience, that I could actually forgive another & make contact again...something which I struggled with for so long.

I asked for Strength...God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for Wisdom...God gave me Problems to solve.
I asked for Prosperity...God gave me Brain and Brawn to work.
I asked for Courage...God gave me Danger to overcome.
I asked for Love...God gave me Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favors...God gave me Opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted...I received everything I needed!

People always perceive Christians as judgmental, weird people who think they are too good for themselves. But those are just stereotypes, of course u can put many labels to other groups of people as well for that matter. To me, true Christians are no more than mortal human beings who have found God & their purpose for living. What could be greater or more life changing than that?

Murphy's Law

2005-09-07T05:50:00.000-07:00

If anything can go wrong, it will.

I just had one of those days today. Had a very early meeting with the partner of the firm to discuss my new salary structure etc. ... and yes, of all days, I was faced with the worst traffic jam ever!! And ironically, I was out of my house the earliest in months!! Everyone knows that there should NOT be a traffic jam at like 7 something in the morning! To make things more colourful for me, I took like 8 minutes to reverse out of my house coz my sis' new car was blocking the way... yes, of all days ...

Luckily for me, the partner of my firm is very understanding, told me that it was ok & to drive carefully. ;) *phew* If there's one thing I'd stay in this firm for, it's definitely the people. Anyway, in my haste to get to the office ASAP, I almost knocked down the dustbin in the parking lot... I hate parking!!

The good part was that the discussion went pretty alright, and my new pay isn't too bad. I was taking my own sweet time after the morning rush and my manager SMS-ed me to say that she's stuck in the very bad jam (so it wasn't just me!)... and told me to start the session with the clients first. *Gasp* I wasn't even at the client's yet. After being majorly lost looking for the coffee place to takeaway coffee to stay awake for the latter part of the day, and not being able to find my car in the carpark (which happens all the time).. I managed to get to the client's, guessing my way there.... didn't get lost (woohoo!!), and yeap, I was late but at least I made it.

It all boiled down to one thing... I'm just too blur, and I need to do something bout it coz it's driving me mad! :) But then again, my life wouldn't be so colourful then & I'd have nothing to blog about. ;)

At the core...

2005-08-29T20:45:00.000-07:00

Was having dessert with my bro-in-law yesterday and had one of those random profound conversations. He does indeed have an opinion about everything - as I always joke with him about. Anyway this was what he said:

"At the core of every man, is a bastard".

Hahahha... I thought that was hilarious coming from a man but yet, how true. :P He went on to say that the forms of the 'bastard' could be a lying bastard, selfish bastard, cheating bastard etc. etc... you name it. So I asked "Is there no good man out there anymore?".. and he replied that a good & mature man would be one who acknowledges that he has the potential to be a bastard, thus exercises self-control, and is honest and sincere about it & faces the consequences of his actions.

So may I add, the worst kind of man is one who does not admit that he could be a bastard, performs bastardly acts and covers them up with lame excuses to avoid facing the consequences...and to top it off, thinks he has done the right thing. :)

May you girls out there not meet those kind of men, and may you men out there not turn out to be those bastards. :P

Courage

2005-08-23T06:46:00.000-07:00

Courage comes in many forms. To me, the best form of courage comes not in doing crazy stunts to impress but the simple acts of courage that not many out there would be capable of doing - dare I say, possibly not even the nuttiest of stuntmen.

The courage to admit your mistakes is one. The human being, having so much pride that sometimes failure is not even something to be mentioned. My respect goes out to those out there who are brave enough to admit that they have done wrong and face the consequences, rather than the cowardly act of lying through your nose and hiding the facts in an attempt to avoid the consequences of your mis-doings.

Another form of courage I truly respect is the courage to fight through disease. The battle of cancer and what-nots truly proves the triumph of the human spirit.

But most of all, the courage to die in the place of another. That I don't think I have the guts to do. A story was told to me of a priest who died in the place of a family man in the torture camp because he figured that he didn't have wife and children like the family man did. The priest then went to the torture camp and touched many lives before he died. The family man in turn was so touched by this act, he spent his whole life telling others about what the priest had done for him. What an awesome act of courage. And to think that Someone has indeed died for me, I'm truly in awe...

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoeverbelieveth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

Yuppie-fied!

2005-08-21T05:56:00.000-07:00

I've come to the realization that I've been yuppie-fied! Aahh!! As much I do not want to admit it, but I guess it's a transition from overseas life to back home.. and searching for substitutes to what I miss. Plus it doesn't help that my close friends and colleagues are all in the same boat, so there we go.. a bunch of young people, working hard, playing hard. Guess when I run out of energy, I'd finally have some time to read the many books beside my bed that are all half read, and the piles of DvDs that I haven't got time to watch ;)

My substitutes list...
- Good coffee: San Franscisco Coffee (can you believe that this is actually local?)
- Cakes, Desserts: Marmalade (Toffee Banana & Cookies n Cream cheesecake), Ms Read deliCious (brownies!!), Vanilla Box, Bakerzin, Alexis (tiramisu - the best I've ever tasted)
- Shopping: Singapore, Bangkok (haha... ok those were crazy impulsive trips I admit), blook, cats whiskers, Zara, Nine West and other secret locations ;) .. I love to find unique items ;)
- Hangouts: Alexis Jazz Bar (really really nice), Bangkok Jazz, Moon Bar in Bangkok (would love to go to Luna Bar - an apparent rip off of Moon Bar)
- Restaurants: Rakuzen, Courtyard Garden, Bangkok Jazz (and more to be discovered..)

I guess after being away for 5 years, I didn't realize that KL has indeed everything! Including the things that I miss. I would say that the only gap so far is the shopping.. you just gotta go further to find what you want but a friend of mine who came back for a short trip from Melbourne went crazy at this boutique I recommended, so perhaps the grass is always greener on the other side. ;) And yes, they do have Laura Mercier here... :)

Birthdays, birthdays..

2005-08-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

Birthdays are sacred events - the one day in a year to make someone feel special. If you are reading this, happy birthday Jes!!! :) A friend emailed me and said that with technology being so superb nowadays, we have very little reason to forget birthdays, especially with the Friendster birthday reminders etc. ;)

So here's my MANY MANY thank you-s to all those who made my day special!! Last Friday, I was surprised with a yummy big chocolate cake during the weekly gathering with my colleagues!! Thanks Seow for the cake & organizing everything! Thanks also to those who came - Mich, Yuet, Jeremy, Ai Rin, Javier and friends... and for that flaming drink hahha ;) I had a blast!!

Also got crazy wee hour phone calls after midnite.. Jessey was the first, and Farah, Zi and SMS wishes from Jon, Sah, Jason, Evienne.. thanks Uncle Kee & Aunt Peggy who came from Melbourne and gave me a call - so great to hear from you all!! Crazy Jes sang me a full birthday song over the phone, thanks for lunch Eawei, and my wonderful wonderful friends - Lisa, Chin Ai, Angeline, Shauntaine, Jessey, Jes, Fuddy for the pressies, yummy cake and for making time to come for dinner. :) Looking forward to the facial, my dear chickies. ;) De necklace and perfume are ultra lovely too. :)

Many many thanks (don't think I can end this..hope I didn't miss out anyone) also for the presents - Jon, Johana, Adry and Niza.. very thoughtful of you all though I don't know what they are yet, u really didn't have to. And of course my lovely sis and bro in law who bought me lunch at my fave place and for the makeup set! Love it! And my other sis for calling all the way from S'pore, got me an early bday present when she was down and my brother & sis in law who called from US but I wasn't around.. thanks for the sweet card & pressie all the way from the States ;) Mei called me from Melb!! What a lovely surprise.. and Sin Yee (wish you were in KL..just got the card & pressie, xie xie), Lay See, Geraldine, DiNg for the SMS greetings ;) Bee8, Teck, May Ann, Soon Yean, Ewan, Anne,Yinsern as well! Oh and Mel for sending SMS to my OZ number haha.. ;) Really hope I didn't miss anyone out!! If I did, sincere apologies!!

Thank you for every little thing! I'm so, so very blessed! ;)

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" James 1:17

Le seul constant est le changement

2005-08-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

Je croyais toujours que je vous connaissais mieux, mais quelquefois je ne savez pas si ce n'est vrai plus. La personne que j'ai eue l'habitude de connaître est maintenant très lointaine, presque comme une mémoire se fanant. Pourquoi les gens ont-ils toujours des motifs derrière leurs actions, se plaire ? L'altruisme est un article très rare et ceux qui le pratiquent souffrent seulement, bu t encore je choisis le motif nobler.

Mission: accomplished!

2005-08-07T06:47:00.000-07:00

I made it!! Survived 2 and a half weeks without my manager around. She went for training in the States and everyone was like "You're so lucky, get to leave work early etc etc" but the opposite was true.

I was overwhelmed with responsibilities. It was like having to fly when you have just learnt to crawl. Looking back, I asked for an opportunity to build trust with my clients, to do more than my scope and in a strange way, that did it for me. From sitting in meetings and taking notes, I was running meetings all of a sudden. From jotting down issues, I was forced to manage the issues. From noting down status updates, I was preparing the updates. It was an express learning curve, and I realized it's when you are given the responsibility that you learn the most. Somehow or other, the fastest way to learn is sometimes through being thrown in the deep end.

I'm somewhat relieved that my manager's back. She's great at her work, learn heaps from her.. and has an amazing way of dealing with people. So it's time for me to take a breather for a bit, and start walking... ;)

QLC

2005-07-31T04:24:00.000-07:00

Was asked this intriguing question by an equally intriguing person. So Tuck, here's my post to you.. ;)

"What are the signs & symptoms in emery's life which she thinks might point to evidences of quarter-life-crisis?" (feels like an essay)

In my opinion, it all starts with volatility... like u said, getting out of the comfort zone of Uni and into the working world.. can be pretty daunting for us young adults. The fear of not doing enough in these few years before u turn 30 and yet not knowing what exactly you want to achieve in life. Society these days demand a lot, or more like we demand a lot from ourselves due to higher education. And with hectic schedules and time passing by so quickly, we set lots of goals to achieve and find that there could not be enough time. Like I wanna travel lots (to Europe especially & the States), I wanna further my studies, I wanna do this and that... I want to find work that I'm passionate about, I want to go on a missions trip etc etc. So what I've been doing is just trying to execute as much as I can, such as my impulsive holidays and stuff - the Just Do It attitude. And enjoying life - indulging in good food, hanging out and yet working hard.

Work is another area where you suddenly have no guidance whatsoever unlike in Uni where there's always a textbook. There is no textbook here, what's on paper is usually easier said than done. This week itself I was facing resistance from my clients, trying to win over their confidence... which fortunately succeeded .. however, if it was in Uni I would probably be writing about how I would deal with it and get a high distinction. But in real life, you just grapple around and figure it out yourself. It applies to other aspects of my life too.. but I'm just hanging in there and letting God lead the way.

I am having heaps of fun and generally satisfied with my life - but each week, I think to myself "Am I getting my priorities right? Am I using my time right? Will I be able to achieve my end result with what I am doing?". I guess it all stems down to "I don't want to look back in my life and see that I've not done anything of significance - except consuming heaps of vegetables, meat and cakes (ok I pig out on cakes a lot)." ;) So that's my answer to you :)

Braced

2005-07-23T00:02:00.000-07:00

I just had my follow up check on my ankle. The good news was that the ligaments are healing well but the bad news is that I still have to wear my brace for another 2 weeks!!!! Well, the doctor said that in the "old" days, he would have to put me in a crutch and cast for my ankle, so I guess a brace isn't that bad. I'm gonna attempt driving, cannot stand being immobile for so long, but I've been told I'm already dangerous enough without the brace ;)

Come to think of it, my ankle issue has been quite a blessing. Managed to talk to my clients more since now there's a common topic and they have been very helpful in suggesting different remedies. Also got closer to my colleagues who are nice enough to give me a lift to work every morning for the past month & to the hospital, plus those who just enjoy making fun of my sprained ankle, asking questions like "so, can u dance?", "how's ur elephant leg?", "r u sure u sprained it just by looking at ur phone?".. etc etc. Not to mention one of them likes to imitate how I limp. It has also helped me to slow down my activities... which was what I wanted to do, reduce my spending (can't go far limping while shopping) and yea, reminding me not to take simple things for granted, such as walking. It indeed has been a humbling experience. It'd be a month more before I am 'completely' healed (hopefully). And I so miss my shoes, the only shoe I've been able to fit in with the brace is the one below, which is not even mine, my sister's.

My advice is: BE CAREFUL AT THE STAIRS!!!

The Difference

2005-07-17T02:41:00.000-07:00

I got up early one morning
And rushed right into the day
I had so much to accomplish
That I didn't have time to pray
Problems just tumbled about me and heavier came each task
"Why doesn't God help me?," I wondered
He answered, "You didn't ask"
I wanted to see joy and beauty
but the day toiled on gray and bleak
I wondered, "Why doesn't God show me?"
but He said, "You didn't seek"
I tried to come into God's presence
I used all my keys at the lock
God gently and lovingly chided "My child, you didn't knock"
I woke up early this morning and paused before entering the day
I had so much to accomplish that I had to take time to pray

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Suddenly remembered this poem, on a bookmark given to me by my brother several years back. Serves as a gentle reminder for me to always depend on God for strength because there are so many things in life in which I need His help.

I suppose whether you are a Christian or not, you would still go through similar problems, face similar challenges and go through very difficult times... so some may wonder "Why bother being a Christian then and add to the burden??"

Well, the difference is that I know Who I can depend on, turn to for help and for my source of strength when everything else seems impossible. Though like any fallible human being, I have my ups and downs but trust me, it is a life changing experience and I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

Check out Life: Live it Loud! if you're free this Saturday 23 July 05.

Perpetually happy!

2005-07-14T06:42:00.000-07:00

I've recently been told that I'm perpetually happy. Really?? *surprised* But I seriously do feel pretty happy lately :) Perhaps the optimism from Bonk has rubbed off on me. Hahhaha... and apparently I laugh at the end of each sentence during phone conversations. Maybe that's my version of a full stop (unconsciously).

Anyway, I've definitely learnt that happiness is a state of mind! Anyone can be happy if they choose to be! Plus, these 2 days I've indulged in chocolates... heaps of chocolates, thanks to a colleague who came back from UK with a bagful and I'm like the main consumer. Well according to Mr. Jon, chocolates release endorphins... the body's "feel good" chemical. Interesting!! Here's an article I found on chocolate: http://www.ynhh.org/online/nutrition/advisor/chocolate.html

Maybe I really should eat more chocolate ;)

"...Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength" Nehemiah 8:10

You can't have everything

2005-07-10T05:14:00.000-07:00

I don't believe a person can have everything without giving up some things. Yea, it may seem that some people you know seem to have "everything" but if you know them better, you'd realize that there are some things lacking in their lives.

I once knew a friend who is really wealthy, lives in the nicest place and has everything imaginable but was always wanting attention and annoyed people heaps. Later, he mentioned that it was because his parents gave him everything except their time and attention.

It's really hard to find the right balance - to serve God, pursue your career, have a social life etc. Those who believe they can achieve all of that without sacrificing some things are probably not too honest with themselves. Even simple things like sleeping & health are sometimes 'sacrificed' to achieve all that. I would say the best thing is to get your priorities right - something that I am still working on. I hope I can look back in life one day and know that I've made a difference and made the right choices and sacrifices. :)

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" Matthew 6:21

Is this a sitcom? :)

2005-07-08T23:24:00.000-07:00

I had the funniest conversations with 2 of my closest friends from high school. One of them hasn't called me for ages, and last weekend she called and it went something like this:

F: Hey wanna meet up?
Me: Sorry, can't go too far, I sprained my ankle.
F: Hey, ME TOO!!!
Me: What? Seriously??? Which ankle?
F: Right ankle
Me: ME TOO!!

At this point I thought it was hilarious, I mean.. how often do people sprain their ankles at the same time?? But the phone line got cut off. Curious to find out how she sprained it, I called her back when I got home from dinner....

Me: Hey, so how did u sprain it?
F: You first
Me: Ok, I was walking down the stairs, playing with my handphone and missed a step and fell. Your turn..
F: Haha..I was reading the SMS stating that I passed a very difficult subject, got so excited, missed a step and fell!

Hahaha... seriously almost hard to believe. Then, a few days later, another good friend of mine SMS-ed me and it went something like this:

"Hey, I wanted to call you last night. Guess what? I tripped on some phone cables and fell down the stairs! I'm in a bit of a pain but somehow I just find it pretty funny."

I asked if she was alright, and yea tell me about it, it's extremely funny.

Maybe that's why we all get along so well ;)

Right now, I just got back from the hospital, put on an ankle brace for 2 weeks. Checkup in 2 weeks time. Apparently I had stretched / torn 3 ligaments on my ankle and could have been healed earlier IF I had worn the brace immediately. One stupid mistake of falling. Oh well, at least the x-ray shows no broken bones!! :)

Does financial planning EVER work??

2005-07-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

I did it, I finally recorded my expenses for the month of June just to see where my money has gone to. It's amazing how little amounts of expenditure can add up to soooo much *gasps* I've also learnt that the nice shiny plastic card is an EVIL thing to own.

When I told a colleague at the beginning of last month that I was gonna track my expenditure, he laughed and said that he tried too, but it's simply impossible. His theory is: It may work for the 1st month but subsequently, there will always be something unexpected that will crop up that requires that 'excess' spending.... birthdays, dinners, accidents etc etc. Oh well... so my question is: Is there anyone out there who can actually save according to their targets and be disciplined? Especially young working adults that is. ;)

The culprit of it all is my constant need for retail therapy!! Those uncontrollable urges to buy those lovely shoes, bags, clothes... argh! How can one resist? And ironically, my dad just passed me my credit card statement for the month! Ack...

Yes, I know..how many shoes do I need? I'm not a caterpillar ;)

When God Ran

2005-07-02T03:06:00.000-07:00

Almighty God,
The Great I Am
Immoveable Rock
Omnipotent powerful

Awesome Lord
Victorious Warrior
Mighty Conquerer
Commanding King of Kings
And the only time
the only time I ever saw Him run

Was when He ran to me
Took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest
And said "My son's come home again"
Looked in my face
Wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
He said "Son, do you know I still love you?"

It caught me by surprise when God ran

The day I left Home, I knew I'd broken His heart
I wondered if things would ever be the same
Then one night, I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road, ahead I could see
It was the only time, the only time
I ever saw Him run

Was when He ran to me
Took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest
And said "My son's come home again"
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
He said "Son, do you know I still love you?"

It caught me by surprise, It dropped me to my knees
When God ran

Holy God, Righteous One
Who turned my way
Now I know
You've been waiting for this day

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What beautiful lyrics.... I'm touched by this song.
Thanks Yin Sern!

My right foot

2005-07-01T23:49:00.000-07:00

So I sprained my right foot. Had too much fun last weekend, and my foot has finally forced me to slow down my activities. Still at a blur on how it happened, I was reading the reminders on my handphone (yes, the annoying beeping ones I set everyday) while walking down the stairs to breakfast and the next thing I knew I was on the floor. Ouch!

Anyway, still made it home from Pangkor, carried my luggage and into the ferry etc. but when I got home it started to swell. Saw the doc the next day, and he said I tore a ligament. Wow. Is it that serious? I didn't believe him anyway. I did accidentally stretch my foot in the morning and it hurt like hell, so maybe it's true to some extent ;) but I'm still not taking any painkillers. Hate drugs.

I'm pretty stubborn. I am. And this ankle injury just flashed back those helpless days when I had my back operation. The helplessness of not being able to do the simple things - like crawling under the table to plug in my laptop power cable or running down the stairs. I get frustrated, I try and do more things than I should. Then, I thank God that it's not as bad, if I could survive my back surgery, I can do anything. I am just impatient, I need to drive, I have so much I want to do. I even miss dancing(!). This time, I thought I'd better rest. Try to fight my own stubbornness. Coz apparently an ankle injury should not be taken lightly - could have more severe impacts later if not taken care of. Eek! And I do not need any more metal implants in my body than I already have ;) I'm not intending to set off the metal detectors haha...

So, this is my first slow moving weekend. The bliss of doing... nothing.

Life's lessons.. so far

2005-06-28T01:26:00.000-07:00

Always be true to yourself.
It's your life, don't let anyone else live it for you. Deep down, you know what YOU want.

You can overcome your fears.
Fear is what stops me from achieving my best. Once it is conquered, I realize I can do wonders.

True friends stab you in the front.
I've made many mistakes and I appreciate the friends who are brutally honest with me, even at times when I don't want to hear it. Those are the ones whom I can rely on, and majority of the time, they are right. They give me my sanity check.

The greatest form of love lies in your family.
I love my family. I'm so glad that I've got a relatively big family, and wherever they are, I know I can always rely on them. There is no greater comfort knowing that my family will stand by me no matter what.

A true friendship is one that has gone through conflict only to come out stronger.
I've had falling outs with 2 of my closest friends before, and I'm so glad that our friendships have grown stronger, even though it took time. I learnt not to take these friends for granted, they are like family to me. Thanks for being understanding and forgiving me for my shortcomings. Love you guys heaps.

Forgiveness is a higher form of love.
One of my colleagues told me this, and how true it is...both to receive and offer forgiveness. God has forgiven us for our many sins, so who are we not to forgive others? If you bury the anger within, the one to suffer is yourself. Forgive first, then try to forget.

The mind is the most powerful tool you own, use it wisely.
It's all in the mind. Happiness is a state of mind.

Let yourself go once in a while, go CRAZY!
Life is short. Live it to the fullest! Don't keep planning, EXECUTE!

Believe in yourself and you will go far.
I have this issue. People believe in me more than I believe in myself. I have exceeded my own expectations by taking initiative and believing in my own abilities.

Who will stand beside you when your whole world crumbles? Those are your true friends.
It's not the number of friends you have that are important. You need to know who are the ones who will be there when you are stripped of everything. I don't believe that anyone can have "too many friends".

A true friend will not think of you any less, despite your mistakes.
I've had a few friends who have confided in me and told me that they hope I won't think of them as silly for their actions. Trust me, I don't... coz I've had my fair share of silliness.

Don't be a surface person. Stop making judgments of people before getting to know them.
I can be guilty of this as well. Everyone has their stories to share, never judge people by outward appearances.

Selfishness is the worst act one can perform to others.
Nuff said.

Honesty and integrity are the values I admire most.
I hate to be lied to. Trust is something not to be taken lightly.

Always say sorry before making excuses.
I read about this a long time ago, and it works like magic! Sorry - a simple word, but often hard to verbalize.

Words cut more than a sword. Think before you speak.
The power of the tongue cannot be underestimated. I always believe if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it.

The One I cannot live without: God.
I tried to run away from Him, but He has never left me nor forsaken me. What would I do without Him?

A summary of what I've learnt so far in this half a year. Maybe I'm getting old, but I've definitely learnt a lot ;)

Craziest weekend of my life!

2005-06-27T07:21:00.000-07:00

I had such a BLAST!! It was my company trip at Pangkor Island. I'm still aching from the activities but highlights are that we won the best performance for our Austin Powers dance!! I'm so proud of my team. 2 weeks ago when I was asked to help lead the team to perform something for all new hires, I was quivering at the thought. I've not written any scripts, I don't do these things, I don't like dancing/acting/singing ..well, at least not in public. But I really learnt so much that teamwork can do! My group members were the best, extremely helpful and innovative. They helped to craft the dance steps, organized the costumes, there were just so much cooperation considering we just finalized the script 1 hour before the dinner, and taught another the dance steps in that short 45 minutes practice too! Love you guys!!

Other crazy things - I was thrown off the banana boat!! Woo hoo.. and I don't know how to swim. I really didn't expect that I'd fall, thought I'd just hold on really tight but guess I was wrong! :) Swallowed a gulp of salt water, and first thing that came to my mind was "Oh no, I am underwater, will I float?? Am I the only one?"... I slowly bobbed out of the water *phew* and saw the rest of them floating in the ocean too! It was hilarious!! Then I was thrown into the pool too, everyone had to be thrown at least once in this trip... was trying to avoid that the whole night but was carried from my seat right into the pool! The problem with being small framed - you need less manpower to get you thrown in!

Hahaha.. I love my firm. The people are nuts, they work hard, play even harder! I probably embarrassed myself heaps but oh well, hopefully it will be forgotten.. I was just having fun!! :D

I'm now stuck with a sprained ankle, from missing a step on the staircase.... what a dramatic weekend ;)

Overwhelmed, but strengthened I am... ;)

2005-06-15T08:45:00.000-07:00

This was exactly what I needed to read with my overwhelming responsibilities lately.
Thanks Lisa for sending it to me. :)
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A Scottish athlete in the 19th century made an iron discus based on a description he read in a book. What he didnt know was that the discus used in the official competition was made of wood with only an outer rim of iron.His was solid metal and weighed three or four times as much as those being used by other discus throwers.

According to author John Eldredge, the man marked out the record distance in a field near his home and trained day and night to match it. For years he laboured until he could break the record. Then he took his iron discus to England for his first competition.

When he arrived at the games, he was handed the official discus. He easily set a new record, a distance far beyond those of his competitors. He remained the uncontested champion for many years. This man trained under a heavy burden and became better for it.

When we are given a heavy burden to bear, we need to learn to bear it in Jesus' strength and for His sake. Whatever the burden or suffering, God will use it to "perfect, establish, strengthen and settle" us as 1 Peter 5:10 says.

Our burdens can make us better than we ever imagined- stronger, more patient, more courageous, more gentle and more loving than we could otherwise be.

Today's burdens can strengthen you for tomorrow.

Dr Phil's test - I've got 37 points ;)

2005-06-14T09:55:00.000-07:00

My result from Dr. Phil's test... haha I'm such a sucker for personality tests ;)

"Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted or talented but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends but equally that it takes a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken."

I think it's rather true in a way. Those close friends that I trust are very dear to my heart. And those who have breached my trust - it will definitely take me a lot of time to undo the damage and even then, there'd always be a wall between us. In time, perhaps the wall will crumble bit by bit. I read that there will always be people who will hurt you, just be careful of who u trust.

Simply divine!

2005-06-11T21:22:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I met up with an old friend that I've not seen for 10 years. How we established contact was via Friendster. I was slightly worried bout what I was gonna say, u know after 10 years, a lot of things have changed - we have lived different lives, she was in NZ, I was in Australia, studied different courses, met different friends etc.

Met up at Starbucks and she told me that I SMS-ed her at the exact moment when she picked up her phone to SMS me to meet up. For others, this may seem like a coincidence but this was someone I've not met for so long... that to me, it was more than coincidence. And she was also thinking "what am I gonna talk to her about?" but when we started talking over coffee, it was even more amazing. She was going through the exact same things that I was. In fact so similar that we surprised ourselves. And from not knowing what to talk about, we had the deepest conversation and just felt so much better than someone else understands exactly what's in our minds. It felt like God wanted us to meet up for a reason, seriously. She's alone working in KL while her family is still in NZ and was worried about making new friends here etc.

Since then, she has sent me short emails every single morning on workdays, with bible verses to encourage me. What a blessing!!! :D Thanks Raina!!

"Two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their work,

If one falls down,

his friend can help him up.

But pity the man who falls

and has no one to help him up!"

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Gym junkie?

2005-06-07T08:04:00.000-07:00

Surprise surprise, Miss Unfit has decided to take action for her 4 years New Year's Resolution to "get fit" :) Yup, that's me!

Yes, I'm proud to say that I've finally succumbed to paying for gym membership to force myself to exercise. It's great I must say though a lot of my people (including myself) lacked faith in my consistency to the gym :) Hahaha.. Anyway today is my first day that I'm going to gym after work. Did cycling for 25 mins, and cross-training thingy for 20 mins and that was it. What motivates me is the TV... focus on the TV, you don't feel the strain. Awesome! :) What a concept!

Anyway I love the aerobic classes too... probably check them out on the weekends. It was highly embarrassing that before I joined, the gym guy asked me: 'When was the last time u exercised?' and I was like "Urm, last year??". "Where was the gym that you went to?".... "Downstairs from my apartment..". "How often did you go?"... "Once every 3-4 months". *Shocked look on gym guy's face* . Ok so all that must change now. Keeping fit is definitely in my agenda :D

Shopaholic

2005-06-03T06:03:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have a confession. I'm going to Singapore tomorrow for the Great Singapore Sales! And everyone's like, didn't you just come back from Bangkok?? Oh yea, I forgot to blog about Bangkok. IT ROCKS!!! I've never really had a shopping holiday (my first!) and it really really rockssss! Everything's nice and cheap and petite which is greattt for me. Plus I had the company of 3 crazy, no-self-control girls who have the greatest taste in clothes, shoes and bags, and earrings. I wouldn't trade them for anyone else... we had the best times in our short 3 days trip (30 april-1 may).

So here I am again, after saying "I'm so broke from shopping"... and going to Singapore, despite my lack of sleep, work to do etc. and confessing that I have way too many shoes (7 pairs of work shoes 3 months in my career??) but I'm gonna say that "I won't buy any more shoes in Singapore UNLESS it's nice". I'm obsessed with shoes!!! All the result of being in Melbourne for too long and not being able to afford the nice shoes or more like, no opportunity to wear nice uncomfortable shoes when u're walking 90% of the time. ;)

But on the noble side, I've actually started to track my finances ... after wondering where all my pay goes. .. the usual "first wage earners" syndrome I suppose. Was just arguing with my colleague that financial planning does not work. . coz something always crops up that eats up ur savings. At most, it will work the 1st month u try.. so we shall see. I gotta have some SELF CONTROL somewhere. ;) ... right?

Inspired Quotes from Sex n the City

2005-05-30T08:08:00.000-07:00

A forwarded message definitely worth a read...
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1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.

4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

6. Don't force an attraction.

7. Slower is better.

8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God doesthings decent and in order.

11. Don't settle.

12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he isunstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?

14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for
staying when things are not better.

15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.

16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

17. There's only one reason a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.

18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.

20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.

21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

23. If he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.

24. Be honest and upfront.

25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.

26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).

27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).

28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them...flee.

29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.

30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself -- double-standard.

31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.

32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!

34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.

35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying,let him go.

36. Actions speak louder than words.

37. Never let a man define who you are.

38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.

39. Never borrow someone else's man.

40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.

42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.

43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life.

44. Love is a verb ...

45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.

46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

47. All men are NOT dogs.

48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.

49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.

50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.

51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute aboutbaggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complementary...not supplementary.

53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.

55. Never become your man's "therapist".

56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.

57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it - but it takes two to make it work.

58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world(within reason) that he wouldn't do for you.

59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are,
and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.

60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure him to spend time with you,You cant force a man to hang out with you.

61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.

62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

63. Never move into his mother's house.

64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.

65. Never co-sign for a man.

66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.

67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.

68. Never let a man mess up your credit.

69. When it's time to let go; let go.

70. Good men should be treated like good men.

71. Don't play games.

72. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

73. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

74. Compatibility in terms of educationalattainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.

75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.

Change

2005-05-23T06:50:00.000-07:00

This blog is inspired by Julz :) .

Like Julz wrote, change is indeed inevitable. You'd never know what the future holds for you. You can only plan but what you imagine the future to be sometimes or most of the time... would not be what is realized.

This year indeed has been a year of many many changes - taken out from my comfort zone and adjusting to work life takes time to adapt. New friends, new colleagues, new environment, new project, new challenges etc.. exciting yet daunting. I've learnt to embrace change. I used to be afraid of it, wondering "oh no, what would happen if all these things I am used to were taken away from me?" but as the months unfold, I began to realize that I can adapt to it. You think you can't, but when change comes... you will naturally fall in its path, and trust me, you will survive!

I am truly on an exciting and rocky road in my life. Change has indeed taught me so much about myself, and I grow stronger each day, knowing who I am and what I can be. And the pillar of my strength is definitely God...

"For God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him, for those who are called according to His purpose"

Two sides to every story

2005-05-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

I'm on a blogging fest - sorry for the lack of updates - been busy. I do have the inspiration just no time to pen them down. So here goes - 3 new blog entries in a night.. :)

This blog is about how you can view everything from 2 perspectives. Last weekend, after having to work on a Saturday, I was dying to go home.. and surprise, surprise, my car could not start!

So, I was about to think I am having the worst day in the world.. but I decided to not look at it that way. Firstly, I decided not to park at some cheaper open air area but parked in KLCC carpark next to the lift instead. So.. when my car broke down, at least I was safe and sheltered. Also, my good friend happened to SMS me and said she was coming to KLCC just before that happened, so had she not told me, I wouldn't have known that she and her boyfriend were there. So at least someone was there to accompany and calm me down. Then her boyfriend did a great job pretending to be my dad on the phone to the service line, as they wouldn't let me use the service without my dad being there. Another thing was, I actually didn't know the way to go home. So after the car was fixed, my dad came and I tailed his car home... and at the same time, memorizing the directions (as always... my initiative) :)

So all in all, everything happened that day for a reason. So does everything in life. And how you look at it is what makes the difference.

Blessed with the bestest friends in the world!

2005-05-19T06:41:00.000-07:00

I read a few years back that if you have 5 close friends that you can really talk to, as in, not just talk but confide in... you are the lucky ones who are happier in life and potentially live longer too. And seriously, it's not easy to find 5 people like that in your life but I suppose I'm one of the lucky few fortunate enough to actually have that luxury!

I've got two really, really good friends from my high school days... those friendships that are hard to break. Even though I was away in Melbourne for 4 years over, Lisa has always always been there for me.. yes, always. I'd turn to the phone, make that call, and there she is making me feel better instantly, knowing exactly what to say and do. And recently, when my car broke down, she was there and she made sure that my car could start before she left the scene, even though she was supposed to be having her bf's birthday dinner. Chin Ai is also one of my closest friends, we go a long way, studying the same course, staying at the same place, having like almost 60% mutual friends.. and the best thing about her is that she stands up for me all the time. An extremely loyal, sincere friend, anyone who does not know her is definitely at a loss. When I was down, she actually cooked for me so that I won't starve myself. She's definitely one friend that has pulled me through very difficult times and we've been through a lot together - yes, and a lot of FUN too!!

Jing Min is another of my best buds from Uni. Always honest with me, she has the ability to analyze things from a different perspective which really saved me from heaps of trouble. Always making sure that I'm ok, one of the most caring & sincere friends I know.. even though she is in Singapore now and is extremely busy, yet makes time for me when needed. We used to camp at each other's house to pull through those stressful exam periods. One of my newer friends, Jes.. feels like I've known her longer than it seems. Also my colleague, she's an amazing woman... full of laughter, makes my work life less mundane and always making sure that I'm ok too. Aahh, and of course not forgetting Haz (who is probably reading this blog and wondering if I'd mention his name) ;) ..my old friend that recently established contact just at the right time in my life. Who else can I call at midnight - 1 am when I can't sleep from drinking too much coffee?? :P And also blatantly honest with me, which I appreciate and has the most optimistic approach to life!! Never fails to cheer me up ;)

Seriously, where do you find friends like that? I am truly, truly blessed. :)

I lost myself...

2005-05-19T04:31:00.000-07:00

It dawned upon me
that I had lost myself
the me I used to know ran from me
and I didn't know who I was anymore
the very things that made me, me
I tried to erase, deny and change
and in the end,
I realized it was futile
I can be a better person
but there are some thngs about me that are just simply...me
that make me unique, the person that i am..
so thank God that I've been released
from my own prison
and the me I used to know..
has walked into my life once again. :)

I love all things French

2005-04-23T01:14:00.000-07:00

I've just finished watching Amelie. Simply captivating. Loved it... the storyline, the music, the mood, the setting, the beautiful streets of Paris, the language. Another Jean-Pierre Jeunet classic with Audrey Tautou. I wish I could speak French for real... it's probably the most beautiful language in the world. French humour too is so stark, so blatant that it's funny, hard to describe.

I wish I was in a movie... then I'd know the script, I would set the scene and I would tell how the story unfolds, and how it will end. I could paint myself in different colours, and those around me with different hues as I see fit... and I would be the master storyteller. I would live in my dreams, away from the realities of this world, where no one needs to understand why or how or when and there is no dimension of time. Where things can be reversed, and be forwarded.. where everything is beautiful, almost surreal. I could be a writer, a painter, capturing every essence of things around me. If only..If only..

Too polite?

2005-04-20T03:42:00.000-07:00

I’ve been told several times that I’m too polite. Is there such a thing? Sigh, living in this world where people can be just so plain rude is frustrating. Never thought though that there could be such a thing as being ‘too polite’. It’s probably a Chinese thing – u know, how my mother would apologize for ‘troubling’ others. Personally, I’d rather be too polite than to be plain rude and ungrateful. :)

I’ve encountered so many rude people traveling in the LRT. People can just push their way in, grab the handgrip that I’m holding (!!?!) and God knows what else they are capable of. I’ve heard stories of old ladies using umbrellas to shove their way in! There was even this one woman who did a Rambo-style thingy - shoving herself in the jammed pack LRT and grabbed hold of 2 handgrips.. when I am holding one of them. Geez!!

There’s also the case of grumpy old women who just seem like the whole world owe them something. I say women, coz sadly most of the time these people tend to be women. Grumpy, fussy, rude and sarcastic.. and making everyone else’s life as miserable as theirs. Why why why? Just feel like giving them a nice big smile and say “Cheer up lady!!”.

I guess I’m still all dewy-eyed but sometimes seriously, everyone in this world just need to LAUGH & SMILE more. It makes a big difference in my day. I get asked ‘Why are u laughing / smiling?” … and sometimes, do we really need a reason to? Haha.. perhaps it’s coz I laugh at my own corny jokes apparently ;) Who cares? As long as it makes me happy and I get a dose of laughter a day. That’s all I need. :D

I am my own person

2005-04-16T22:28:00.000-07:00

Have been having blog-blocks lately :) which explains the lack of updates. I have also been going through a lot of crazy self-discovery stuff and probably, going out way too much that I'm sooo *exhausted*.

I've just realized that there are a lot of people who let someone else define who they are and what they can become. Myself included. There's nothing wrong with seeking role models to look up to or for advice but in the end - I am my own person.

I've got my 'merger, acquisition or hostile takeover' theory for instance. This is in relation to couples in relationships. I tend to observe that some couples tend to be like a merger when they are together. Question: "How are you?" - Answer: "We are fine." An acquisition is like a possessive kind of relationship whereby there's a control freak who would not let the other person do what he/she wants... "You are not to go out with your friends tonight". And lastly the hostile takeover is just a sarcastic form of both - where one party dominates the other party without he/she agreeing to it, but nevertheless the weaker party succumbs to it unconsciously.

There are also issues with unrealistic expectations in relationships, as I read in Bonk's blog a few weeks ago. I mean seriously, if you want a companion 24/7 who is always happy and excited to see you irregardless, get a dog! If you want someone to keep your house clean, wash the car and make you 3 meals a day, get a maid! A lot of people tend to fall for an idealized version of their partner and try to morph them into that image. In the end, everyone has flaws and that's the beauty of it - accepting and loving someone with their flaws intact. Like Maroon 5 says "It's not always rainbows and butterflies but compromise that moves us along". :)

And lastly, I remember my brother-in-law telling me a few years back to remember that "There is no guy so good that you cannot live without", referring to a friend's extremely possessive bf at that stage. They were trying to get her out of it, and she has been and is now happily married. I guess there are a lot of us who are trapped in unhappy relationships or unresolved issues simply because of the fear of losing it. I guess sometimes you just have to let go and let fate take over.

I quote Tuck once again, because I could not have put it any better. ;)
"...more importantly let life and time teach you about yourselves. Time to learn about yourself, your strengths, your tolerance and your weaknesses as an individual."

I am my own person. Accept me as I am, and no other.

What is Love?

2005-04-07T05:38:00.000-07:00

Love, to me, is a very mysterious thing. It does make the world go round and all that, but it's so much more than that. Love entails loving someone unconditionally - despite physical appearances, a person's weaknesses or material possessions. It entails loving someone for who they are not what they can become. It's about knowing and accepting the person's weaknesses and yet loving them for it. It's about understanding the other person's passions, beliefs and values and being excited with them about it, even though they may not be the same as yours.

Love is not about selfish desires - what I can get out of that person but rather what I can give. True love prevails despite the circumstances because each knows how much they mean to each other and how no one else in the world can replace what they have. Love is having faith even when things do not seem too promising, but knowing that it is worth it. Love is telling someone how much you appreciate and love them as often as you can.

There are many who have been in several relationships and yet, never understand what love really is. It is not just about champagne, roses, dinners and expensive gifts. It is so much more than that and it definitely is very hard to love unconditionally but never impossible. Perhaps the best definition of love is:

"Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails..." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Please don't tell anyone u love them until you truly understand what love really is.

'It is more blessed to give than to receive'

2005-04-03T09:41:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been awesome because I got my first paycheck and am finally able to pay for people's meals. Haha.. sounds funny but it's just that being the youngest in the family, I've always been pampered with "don't worry, u can pay when u make ur own money" so now it's finally the time that I can actually do that. Empowering!

Managed to shout my family dinner and several friends... which was what I intended to do with my first paycheck. I was asked "what are u going to do for yourself?".. I initially thought of highlighting my hair or shop for work clothes but now all that sounds too much of self-indulgence. Self-indulgence that I've been engaged in for far too long. I've finally understood what the bible meant by "It is more blessed to give than to receive"... and that I tell you, is an awesome feeling.

'If only the fish in the net learn not to struggle'

2005-04-02T23:58:00.000-08:00

This blog entry is inspired by Tuck :) Don't know if I got the saying right about "If only the fish in the net learn not to struggle" or something along those lines. Anyway, it's to do with accepting things as they are and not struggling with the circumstances which will only make things worse.

I guess I have been struggling a lot with myself trying to adapt to my new lifestyle in KL. Working life is different, let alone that I've been living a carefree student life in Australia for the past few years, it has become like my 2nd home. I never anticipated that it would be this hard, after all it's just 'going back home'. Should've gone for those "Preparing to return to your home country" seminars at Uni. They told us that there would be adjustments but I didn't bother. I guess for some of my friends who fly home every single semester break and love their home countries, it's a breeze to be back. A friend of mine just wrote to me that she's very much comfortable here but feel like she left half her heart in OZ & mentioned that that must sound crazy... but I totally relate to that. But like the fish caught in the net, I just gotta accept things as they are and not torture myself further by struggling. :)

The banana generation

2005-03-27T04:21:00.000-08:00

I just came back from a trip to my hometown with my dad. Actually went for the annual 'ceng beng' festival or 'all souls day'.. basically visiting ancestors' tombs and such.

My dad was telling me how my great-grandfather sailed from China in a little wooden 'sampan' (boat) and later had to work in hard labour for several years just to pay off the fare. Many people in those days were stricken with malaria and other diseases which the then medical science could not explain. He was also kidnapped once by some secret society and had to sell of some land to pay the ransom.

My grandfather whom I was close to when I was younger, too, worked hard in the oil palm estates to bring in income. He taught me many things at a young age, mainly core values to get through life such as being disciplined, hardworking and determined. He was an amazing man, only had 6 years of primary education and taught himself how to read and write Chinese characters. I remember the villagers would often request for his fine calligraphy to be written on red cloths for special occasions. And this was a man who taught himself how to read and write!

My father too had a rough beginning, having to move out at a tender age of 13 to pursue secondary education, sharing a little room with 2 other people with bare necessities. He had also experienced staying overnight in a lorry before with the cold gusty wind seeping through the canvas. He later obtained scholarships for his further education. And I was just pondering that I'm the 4th generation here and how significantly life has changed! If it wasn't for the previous 3 generations' hard toil and labour, I probably wouldn't be reaping the benefits today. My life is soo comfortable that it's hard to believe that things could change so significantly from generation to generation.

I named this blog the 'banana' generation because most of my peers in this generation are so westernized that we are 'yellow on the outside, white in the inside', i.e. can't speak Chinese or don't relate to Chinese culture. It's sad I feel to forget our roots and heritage but it's just so hard to retain them these days due to our environment and having English education. I seriously will try to appreciate some Chinese culture and perhaps practise my rusty Mandarin. A friend of mine is heading to China today for a few months to learn Mandarin. That's cool. If we are not going to love our culture or at least try to preserve it, it'd definitely be lost and that is a sad, sad thing.

Sliding doors

2005-03-24T06:05:00.000-08:00

The movie Sliding Doors had always appealed to me in terms of the concept. Don't mean to be philosophical or anything but I thought it was one of the better and more original ideas in a movie. Basically it's about how things could have turned out differently if in this case, the actress (Gwyneth Paltrow) missed the train or otherwise. Ok maybe that's too low-level, but it's just saying that how a small event such as missing the train could actually change your day or entire life. Thanks Lisa for sharing that movie with me years ago, it's great :)

After watching that movie, I always thought of how things would have turned out if... but then again we only live in a one-dimensional world so I would technically never know how things would have turned out otherwise. Not like in the movie where we get 2 versions of the story and 2 different endings. So I know I really should stop thinking of "would haves & could haves" but you know, I just can't help wondering. Just the possibilities of what life could have been like. Never hurts to wonder. ;) And in a way, it'd be pretty cool to have 2 versions of my life coz there's so much I want to do & explore.. then at least I'd know which path to take, and where to go. I know, I'm such a dreamer sometimes :)

Rude rude rude

2005-03-22T06:10:00.000-08:00

Here's something interesting I found today from The Star newspaper. Some videos on the rude things Malaysians do or face. I think it's hilarious & pretty true in some cases (perhaps a little exaggerated). I think the lift scenario is like sooo true. Check them out:

http://202.186.86.35/mmedia/video/

Oh on the bright side, I've noticed that Malaysians actually queue for the LRT nowadays... well at least from the Kelana Jaya station heading towards town in the mornings. At least there is some order as compared to a few years back. But of course, the people still rush in to grab the seats as quickly as they can which leaves someone like me, who does not try hard enough, seat-less everyday. And today I had one of those sardines-in-a-can feeling with the LRT being so super packed that I was tossed with every jostle and movements of the passengers. EEK. On the bright side, at least there's the option of taking the LRT. A few years ago, there were only those mad buses that emit more smoke than a factory. And I think you learn most about the culture & people via public transport.